Missing my husband

how do I survive without my darling???? Danny was only 59 with primary liver cancer, to which there was no reason for him to have.no hepatitis, no cirrhosis , no alcohol abuse  no nothing. Just unlucky. 

My beautiful tall strong handsome man was ravaged by this awful disease. Fought like hell for 3 long years. On the 9th August 2019 he died. I still can’t comprehend that he is gone. Even though I am sleeping with his ashes !

how do I do life without him???

 

  • Hello Teresa, 

    I am so sorry for not replying to you. It is such a desperate time but somehow you will survive. I probably feel the same way or worse but that's just me. It's so horrible but we must get through this.

    All the best to you and everyone else suffering 

     

    Chris xx

  • Hi Chris, 

    thankyou for responding to my message. I feel so desperate tonight. Nothing I do makes me feel any better. I feel like I have a weight on my chest that is real pain but doesn’t lift. Tell me your story please. Have you lost your partner? 

    Terasa xx

  • Hello Terasa,

    How are feeling today I know it is a devastating time for you and I think you live hour to hour. It probably feels dreadful not having your hubby beside you. You somehow must keep going for your family but mostly for you. I can't promise it will get ever get any better but hopefuuly it might ease slightly. 

    My Lesley passed away June 2018. She had bile duct which is really rare and also because of the symptoms it doesn't present itself until it was stage 4. She battled it for 13 months but succumbed to this horrible disease. It has not been too great but I know Lesley wouldn't want me to be unhappy so I try and keep positive. I won't pretend it has been easy but in all this I don't feel for myself, only for my Lesley.

    Please stay strong

    Chris x

  • Hi

     

    i hear your pain. I lost my husband on the 23/5/19. He was my soul mate and best friend, we were together 41 years. We met when we were 13. I have never done anything independently. 

    I really don’t want to be here anymore. (I am under the dr) I got a dachshund when my dad passed away 9 yrs ago and Called him Bernie after dad. So I have got myself a puppy dachshund called Fred which was my nickname for my hubby. It’s really only the dogs that get me out of bed on the morning.

     

    i have started grief counselling on a 1:2:1 but what I have found helpful is mindfulness meditation, not something I have ever been into, but it gives coping strategies when I am having a melt down. 

    I hope you have friends and family who can help out in these very early days for you. 

    I can not imagine the future without my husband in it and find this very frightening x

     

     

  • I can so relate to your post. I lost my beloved Pete on 25/7/19 to colangiocarcinoma or liver cancer that had spread to lungs and lymph nodes.He was 62 and until his diagnosis 15/6/18 had been totally healthy in ever way.  He was planning his retirement at 65 and nobody deserved it more. We were real soulmates, didn’t nurture a big social circle because we did everything together- played golf, long dog walks, Sunday lunch at the pub. I haven’t cried except when I said goodbye to him after he passed away and at the funeral but I miss him terribly. This week I was thinking I can’t go on without him but I have two gorgeous children, one 27 and one 31 who I have to go on for. The thing I struggle most with is the quiet, the long evenings and weekends and I dread the impending winter months. It is so lovely to have this forum to post on.

  • I find the hardest thing is the future, I can’t see life without him. I get upset about the things he will miss like our sons first flight as a commercial pilot, his wedding, grand children and our life together when we are old. Being old on my own scares me to death. So I really don’t want to be here.  

  • I had my sons wedding two weeks after my husband’s funeral and it was a lovely day despite him being sorely missed. I don’t think about getting old on my own instead I live a day at a time or I scare myself to death. I struggle with seeing couples holding hands and people talking about their other halves and I feel angry that my other half has been taken from me SO prematurely.

  • I have to live day by day. I also can’t go out with couples who are our friends. I am ok going out with one person at a time. 

    I am still in denial, I expect him to come home. I have been angry about him leaving me and constantly exhausted. Feel very lonely, even though I have a lot of friends to call on, but don’t want to trouble them when I feel so low . Early days, so everyone says 

  • Can you provide more details about your loved one and his/her passing. How long ago did he/she pass away etc?

  • Thankyou for your response. It is the most terrible time. I’m so so sorry for your loss. I do have an amazing family and friends but that does not fill the big gaping hole in my heart. I have said to them that the silence is deafening in my home. I doubt I will ever get used to that. 

    Sending you love, light and hugs 

    xxxx