Hi DeliasDaughter

Completely get what you're saying about your mother missing milestone in your children's lives. This is what hurts me the most my mother missing out on my children growing up.

My heart goes out to you with your daughter starting school it's tough enough as it is without not having your mother to share it with. I hope she had a good day and also your son at his new school. 

I would tell my mother everything my children did or said and she would always be interested in what ever they were doing. We saw her everyday and she more or less brought my children up so I could work. The love she had for them can never be replaced. 

I feel cheated that she's not here anymore to see them grow. I do tell myself how blessed we were to have her. 

I just wanted to reply to say although my children haven't started a  new school or started school it hurts that they've started new years in school and my mother is not here to share it with. So I can understand....

If you feel you need to cry this is what you need to do. I know what you mean though I block a lot out in order to try and carry on the best I can for my children. Sometimes I think life is so busy and relentless it's hard to fully digest not having my mother here. Still feel unreal 9 months on.

Sorry to hear about your stepdad life is such a cruel thing. 

Take Care x x x

Thanks for your reply, just good to know I’m not going completely mad!  My son has had a lovely start at his new school and my daughter doesn’t start until next Tuesday, I’ll be ready for the day now I think, getting the sadness out of my system early!   

I never had an appreciation for those who’d lost parents before it happened to me.  My grandparents reached fairly decent ages, 80, 79 & 77 so whilst upsetting at the time, I told myself they’d lived their lives pretty much to the max.  I might think differently in another 15 years when the rest of my parents hopefully reach those ages!  

My mum still had so much to give and so much to do, she was so fit and healthy before the cancer struck.  One of the things which upset her the most when we realised her cancer was terminal was that she wouldn’t see her beloved grandson get married one day.  And here I am upset only about schools!  She was robbed, we’ve been robbed.  

There’s no one like a mum, others come close, but there’s an extra special bond between mum and daughter that I only realised later in life.  Through the tough times, we still made so many extra special memories in 2018 and very much continued to live life on top of all the other happy memories from years gone by.  

It’s absolutely unreal when you dare to stop and think, and I think that’s just what’s happened to me today.  Feeling the weight lifting now, turns out writing is quite therapeutic after all!  Thanks for reading my ramble, I’m back ready to smash through the next hurdle life has thrown at us with my step-dad :-)

Hope your children are settling well into their new school years and I really appreciate your earlier reply, thank you  ️

I am so sorry to hear about your mum it’s the worst pain in the world I really struggle with this.  I was 27 when My incredible mum died suddenly August last year 6 weeks after my daughter (her first grandchild) was born. My gosh the amount of milestones a baby goes through and not being able to tell my mum or send pictures Hurts so much. I go out and see so many proud nans pushing their grandchildren around and it is like someone of stabbing me through the heart every time. She was in awe of her grandchild and was even there during the birth. I feel like everything my daughter does is enjoyable and painful af the same time really hope I don’t have to suffer this for the rest of my life. 

Sending lots of love x