Last few weeks

Hi all, I’m not entirely sure why I joined this forum other than to be with others who understand how I’m feeling at the moment. My sister, 18 months younger than me, who has been with me for 55 years is sucumbing to breast cancer. She has been so brave, stoic, resilient and selfless for the past 3 years, but she has lost the fight and has only days or possibly weeks to go. She will leave behind a loving husband and 2 wonderful children who deserve to have their mum for many more years.  

We shared so much when we were young and still know how each other feel to this day. I can’t believe I’m losing my younger sister, I’m supposed to go first, I’m supposed to be able to protect her from demons (ok, I accept that was my role in my early teens, but I still feel it now). 

My sister is a wonderful, caring, gentle, beautiful woman who deserves so much more and has so much more to give.  It is so incredibly unfair. I will be reading her eulogy at her funeral - something I equally dread and long for. Fortunately, I have been able to spend time with her before she has lapsed into oromorph sleep, but it will never be enough time to tell her how much she has meant to me and so many others.

My sister will be greatly missed by so many.

  • Hello dear - this is terribly sad for you & your family. Given what you've said about your sister I think she's been very lucky to have you & I imagine you've been an enormous support to her. Sadly, it seems there's never enough time to tell those we love all we wish we could but the two of you of obviously meant so much to each other I'm sure she knew all that was in your heart.

    Life can be so cruel can't it & at times like these & it's hard to know how we will bear what is to come but somehow we do. I lost my mum almost two years ago & watching her fade was terribly sad but the night she died I slept well I think because I felt she was no longer suffering & the torment was over for her. This might well be how you will feel - I hope so & it could well be the case that reading her eulogy will not be as difficult as you anticipate. You'll do it for her I'm sure.

    I'm sure you'll be a wonderful aunt to your sisters children & will help to make their loss easier for them to bear. You must also take care of yourself for you sister's sake as she would want. She will always be with you & in time you will be able to think about her without the pain you are feeling now. 

    I'll think about you & wish you & your lovely sister peace. xx