Hi joanne,

I'm so sorry to read your post.

I lost my lovely mum 2 months ago today and am still struggling to come to terms with the loss. In fact I simply cannot believe it.

To find out that another loved one has cancer must be truly awful 

I already lost my dad 21 years ago this week although that feels like yesteday as well. 

Live is awful and the last 2 months have made me realise how fragile it is and how it can be taken away at any time. My dad had non Hodgkin's lymphoma but my mum was apparently fit and healthy dying of a sudden brain haemorrhage.

Spend as much time as u can with your mum and treasure her. She may respond to treatment?

Good luck with everything x

They tell me she maybe to old to old for  treatment  as they don’t know if it’s the breast that’s course 

d it to spead to her lungs thankyou for listening am so sorry for your loss it’s so hard at the minute 

Hi,

Lost my Dad many years ago and my husband 4 and a half years back.  Two weeks ago I lost my Mum and have the funeral coming up on Monday.  All very different feelings of grief which I continue to work through with the love and support of those around me plus being able to chat openly on the forum.

It certainly takes time to get your head around your own personal journey when you lose loved ones but for me talking it through with whoever would listen and taking any support offered gave me a way through the 'fog' eventually.

All the very best at this difficult time.  Jules54

Hi Joanne,

I'm so sorry for your loss and your recent bad news. Cancer is so invasive, it takes no prisoners and unfortunately doesn't discriminate. It took my Dad too only a month ago and I still can't accept it. It went from his bones to his liver and we had very little time to process the diagnosis let alone his passing. 

From my experience the only thing you can do is spend as much time with your mam, leave nothing unsaid. Make the most of the time you have with her. Try not to grieve while she is still with you. As hard as it is, live in the moment. I say this because my sibling could not face up to things and spent the last few weeks of dads time with us crying and not spending that time with him. He just couldn't face up to it and he's regretting it now. He couldn't see it at the time but looking back he sees that he should've spent more time with him. Be there for her and take plenty of photos and video. I started recording my dad's calls, just so I can hear his voice and the videos so I can keep him alive. I wish I had taken more photos of him before all this but he hated getting into photos and would never agree to them. The sneaky photos we took of him are a great comfort, just to see him as he was. 

This might sound insensitive but it's important all the same. Find out your mam's wishes. It's a horrible thing to have to discuss but when it comes to it you will be glad of it. My dad was able to tell us what he wanted whereas my grandfather, who died last year left no instructions as it was sudden. We did our best but we'll never know if it's what he wanted. 

It's the worst situation to be faced with and I honestly don't know how we got through it. I look back at all we had to deal with in such a short space of time and wonder how I'm here at this point. You're still in a daze from your Dad so you may still not be in the head space to process all that is happening. I hope you have siblings or close family that you can turn to. They really carry you through because they understand and feel what you're going through. You can't fully appreciate it until you go through it yourself. My friend's mam died last year before my dad and although I felt bad for her, I never truly appreciated all she was going through until I lost my dad. So lean on those who will truly get what you're going through. 

Take care of yourself too. It's important to keep your strength up so that you can get through the days. You just take each day as it comes, it's all you can do.

Mind yourself x