Hi haybee 

im really feeling your pain

my mum was told a week ago that she has just months left, I’m an emotional wreck, crying at anything & everything. My mum on the other hand is being so brave, she’s even arranged her own funeral so it’s less for my brother & myself to do

everyone is walking on eggshells round me

Hi haybee19,

I'm so sorry to read your post and have never been in your situation because both my parents died suddenly with no warning.

My dad died 21 years ago when I was 27 from a sudden major heart attack aged 53.he was allegedly in remission from non Hodgkin's maloma.

My mum died 8 weeks ago from a massive brain hemorrhage after routine surgery.she was 74 and looked as fit as a fiddle.

I had no warning with either and no chance to say goodbye. You have only just found out your mum is dying.a month ago I'm guessing life was taken for granted and pretty normal.

All I can say is be with your mum until she goes as much as you can and treasure your last memories. The first few days and weeks are hard ,really hard. I cry every day and not a minute goes by when she isn't in my mind. Her post mortem showed that she also had advanced heart disease of which she knew nothing, so I'm guessing she was never making old bones.

When she does go the first 2 weeks will be filled with notifying friends and family, planning a funeral you dont want to go to and talking about your mum in the past tense even though you want to scream she hasnt gone, she is just away for a couple of weeks.

After the funeral it gets harder. The whole closure stuff is rubbish.

I'm thinking of you during this awful time x

Hi,

i am so truly sorry to hear about your mum. I completely understand what you mean about not understanding what is happening. 

I lost my mom 3 weeks ago to lung cancer which had spread to her brain among other places. She was in perfect health and we were on holiday in Norfolk then she  started to feel a pain in her back. In total she was ill for exactly 5 weeks to the day. I still struggle to understand how it has happened and why it did so quickly. We had no time to process the fact she was ill before being told it was terminal and no treatment. Everything happened in a blur and Still doesn’t seem real. I expect her to walk through the door any minute and it’s killing me that she won’t. 

I cant imagine the stress you are under with your dad being ill as well. You are so very brave (I know you don’t feel like it, but I promise you are). I have not real answers to how you can cope with it, except spend as much time with your mom as you can. We all basically moved in to her hospice room with her (dad, brother, sister in lane ans puppy) we didn’t leave her side. She needed us ther and I needed to be there with her so much and I don’t refret a second even though it was beyond heartbreaking to see her deteriorating each day. 

Your right it definitely shouldn’t be happening to your mom or dad and it shouldn’t have happened to my mom. Life is pure evil at times. 

I break down and cry all the time and the future is so scary now without her. 

Im here whenever you want to talk. Sending you al my love Lucy was x

know how you feel my mum was diagnosed 2wks ago with lung/liver/breast n lymph cancer n the heartbreak is so overwhelming she now has sepsis and watchin her deteriorate so rapid is beyond belief

x