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Completely broken

FaultInOurStars
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My brother passed on the night to the 1 of August after fighting sarcoma for 7 years!! I know he is out of pain and at peace now but I can’t help but angry and sad that he is gone ...and I also feel guilt, I have so much that i wanted to say but didn’t get the chance to say and now it’s too late. 

I feel sick, upset, angry, guilt, etc and it’s all just getting worse, my boyfriend is trying his best to support me and his family are amazing but I feel like my constant bad mood and up and down mood swings are really starting to affect everyone around me. 

 

Part of me wishes that I could have taken the pain and suffering for my brother, how can such a smart, kind and funny person be gone and at such a young age aswell  

 

Help! 

  • Hi Faultinourstars, 

    I just saw your post and wanted to offer you my sincerest condolences for your loss.

    I'm sure some of our members will be along soon to share their experiences and advice with you but I just wanted you to know that this range of emotions you're experiencing is completely normal so try not to be too hard on yourself if you can. Coping with grief is difficult, and it's still so raw for you right now, but if you feel it's having too much of an impact on the people around you maybe you could look in to bereavement counselling.

    Although you didn't get to say everything you wanted to your brother before he passed, maybe you could try writing an open letter? It can be very cathartic and helpful to get everything down on paper so do give it a go if you think it may help.

    My thoughts are with you at this time faultinourstars.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Hi steph, 

     

    thanks for writing me back, I went to the doctor and he gave me some more medication, I honestly have never felt so many mixed emotions in all my life, especially all such sad. I am writing a letter that I will say to my brother when I go to visit his body this weekend and I’m going to sing a song to him and say a prayer, even though I know he wasn’t religious, I am and I hope that whatever there is after life that someone he was hear what I am going to say and sing. 

     

    I sent a text to his phone, even though I know he won’t reply. I just find it all so crazy and not real.. I’m really struggling to come to terms with what’s happened.  

     

     

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