Hi , hopefully you have managed to drop off into a nice sleep , however if you are still awake I wanted to let you know others are right here with you , I wake up at silly o'clock and it's the first thing that hits me , I remember my dad isnt here anymore and the worst is I cant change it , I watch my mum suffer more by the day,  I feel useless xx

Hello Sally - it's an awful loss you've suffered - agony really I know. 38 years is a lifetime. You say you don't know where to turn for help. Well, you've come to the right place. People here understand your pain & will do whatever they can to help you thro' it.

Feeling lost & lonely is a very normal part of the grieving process although I know this doesn't make it easier to bear. We human beings are funny creatures, we feel & say things are unbearable whilst all the time we are bearing them & you are doing that even tho' you don't see it at the moment. What you are doing tho', by telling us how you feel is letting some of the pain out & that is such an important thing to do. Unless you are able to do that it will stay inside & that's the worst thing in terms of your coming to terms with what has happened. Given that it is 11 months since your partner died perhaps that's what you have been doing & you are stuck in the grief of it all?

If things do get too much you might think of talking to the Samaritans - they are brilliant & will listen to your sadness for as long as you want to talk. And, as I said people here will help too so I hope you keep posting until you feel you no longer need to. It's so important that you truly understand you aren't alone.

Hope this helps even a tiny little bit. xx