Thanks for those lovely kind words Chrissie - made me smile for the first time in a while! ️

Hi SaraJo, nothing can prepare you for this, even knowing that it will happen. I’m sure you have a lot of support around you, but make sure you feel what you need to feel and deal with things that help you to heal. Your husbands last breath will no doubt stay with you forever. Keep it paired with wonderful memories of him. Take care.  

Thank you xx

hello my dear

I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your husband.  What was his name?  How long were you together?  Don't feel you have to give away personal details but sometimes it helps to talk about them,  My husband was called Steve and I lost him at age 58 to oseophageal cancer last November.

it sounds like you have been through the wringer and now there will be a mixture of emotions.  Grief that he has gone, relief that he is out of pain, worry for your daughters and how you're going to get things sorted.  You'll be so focussed on everything else that you may forget to look after yourself.  Please take the time you need.  Daft as it sounds, even taking 10 mins to go to the bottom of the garden and scream at the unfairness of it all is helping because you will be releasing some of the pain.  Don't bottle it up, or try to hide it.  It is the most heart wrenching pain.  No matter how prepared we were for it, it still amazes me how much it can knock me off kilter and I'm nearly 8 months down the line.

Don't be surprised Sara if the first couple of weeks seem "manageable" and then everything goes to pot.  I think it's our bodies way of copying (or our minds).... it hides the enormity of the grief until you are better able to deal with it..... well at least it did for me.

Chriss and Debbie are absolutely brilliant.  We're all here for you.  You WILL get through it becuase you were loved by an amazing man and that love will carry you through anything..... it won't be easy, or pretty but you will survive because of his love and your love for each other.

Keep in touch

Ruth x

Hi Ruth,

Thanks for responding. Stu was 56 and I am 53 far too young for this to happen.  I have been grieving for a long time since we found out it was terminal. I have cried an ocean screamed lashed out the lot! Dealing with a terminal diagnoses is torturous as you well know Ruth. I do have a sense of relief because the uncertainty has gone - at least I now know what cr*p I am facing! Life will be so different for me. The cancer has stolen his life and my tomorrow but Inam determined not to let it ruin the rest of my life otherwise it will have won! 

I wiil stay in touch as you’re a little way in front and maybe you can light the path for me?

Thank you again.

Sara x

I 

 I would be honoured  to help you Sara, So many, many people  have helped me, and continue to do so . I will send you a friend request and we can keep in touch that way. 

Xx

Hi there hunny ...

So nice to see you pop on ... I always think of you ... think you will be a great pal to this lovely lass .. think she's a very wonderfull person .. and will really benifit from knowing you ...

This chat room never ceases to amaze me, just how wonderfull are those on here, that all have heartache and lots to go through .. but still reach out to others .. yes cancer is beond crule .. but the people I've got to know on here, well I'm humbled every day ... 

So Sara... you hold on .. know he'll always watch over you ... and know just how wonderful this place is .. Susan Ruth is one of those angels put down here to help others ... sending you both a big vertual hug... Chrissie

Lots of love to you Chrissie ️

SaraJo,

I’m so very sorry that you’ve lost your beloved husband, my thoughts are with you!

My husband died in 2016 as a result of bladder cancer, he was also aged 56.  At the time, along with many others, you sent me a lovely, comforting message and so I hope that you can draw some comfort from the many messages that I’m sure you will now receive.

The battle with cancer that you and your husband fought was a lot longer than ours was, and I know that you are probably now numb with exhaustion, shock, disbelief and grief.  Be kind to yourself and rest when you can, this is the advice you gave to me which I’m now giving right back to you with a great big hug and all my thoughts xxxx