Hi MyCrinky,

I wanted to say I was saddened to read your post, so sorry your dear mum has cancer. I am further along in my journey, my beautiful mum passed away from blood cancer last September; I come onto this site when I have not so good days, it just helps as people here understand the words I write, the feelings I have and although everyone's grief is different, others write similar thoughts and just understand completely.

It is the hardest thing we'll ever face, losing a parent. My mum was under 5 and a half stone when she died, the feelings of helplessness are very hard to bear...how do you cope?...strangely, when I was holding my mum's hand, I was calm, I didn't want her to see me cry or make her scared about the situation, I told her it would be ok , that I would see her again, she had her faith and I read her passages from the bible, she couldn't speak and when I left the room, all the family were with mum at home, I would breakdown.

Somebody said to me, you won't get over it but you will learn to accept and live with it, I'm living with it but still 9 months later, find it hard to accept she's not here.

You will be stronger than you think, you will be able to cope, there are no timeframes, it is a day at a time. You say that your mum is the most wonderful human being....I understand that and you are the same for your children....my brother told me the other day, mum is looking down on us, making sure we're ok, that she wouldn't want us to be consumed by the sadness but remember the wonderful memories, before the cancer.

The milestones Christmas, birthdays will be hard, my mum loved Christmas and although we all felt not the same without her, our younger members of the family gave us great joy.

As you are doing, hold your mum's hand, tell her how much you love her, I spoke to the district nurses that came in daily who were very caring...not sure if your mum is at home or hospital?

There will be other lovely people on this forum who will reply to you, with wiser words.

I am thinking of you at this difficult time.

x

I am so sorry hearing your words re your mum. I remember having to watch my mum deteriorate its soul destroying. I was the same keeping strong in front of her. I remember it feeling like it wasn’t real and that she would get better. I heard of lots of people fighting cancer but until it’s your family you never truly understand the heart break. Take a day at a time and be kind to yourself. 

I lost on mum on the 6th May 2019 a day before her 70th birthday. 

My world will never be the same.

I find listening to everyone on here comforting 

take care and bigs hugs x 

Hi MyCrinky

You've had a few replies so I hope you come back and post. I am in the same position as you, on 1st of July my mum was told her cancer is now terminal and she has "months, not years".

I am 31 and she is 65, I have a 3 year old and 6 year old. I cried for most of the week but today I've just had a normal day, I don't know how I should be feeling and I cant even tell how I am feeling so I came on here to see if I can work it out.

I don't understand how all of a sudden I've just stopped crying?

Your questions were running through my head all week, what will life be without her? My boys deserve their nanna for must longer than they've had. 

Everyone says to me I must have good genes because my mum's mum is still living, she's 100! 

Mum is so private that very few people know. I've been talking it out with my husband and my best friend but today I have nothing to say. I don't understand it.

Thanks anyone for reading if you made it this far x

Hi, it is watching my mum deteriorate before my eyes that is killing me inside. My mum is showing such mental strength through all this and seeing her body let her down so badly is just breaking my heart.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I’m sending lots of love and hugs x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too, it’s heart breaking isn’t it. My Mum’s mum lived to 92 and her dad is still going strong at 93, we all assumed my mum would live to a ripe old age.

Like you I’m so upset my children will never remember their nanny and she won’t see them grow up.

thank you for your reply, you have no idea how comforting it has been reading your words, I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to reply x

Hey I'm glad it helped to read my message, you aren't alone in this but I don't think that makes anything easier. How have you been?  How has your mum been? Mine is having a good at today and one on Sunday but had bad days Monday and Tuesday, they're trying to get her stronger pain meds so she can have better days. It's hard to watch and harder to not visit when she doesn't have the strength for visitors 

Hi just wondered how your mum is doing? 

My mum was just diagnosed with unknown primary cancer they think it is anyway.

its in her lymph nodes and under and on her tongue and throat but they don’t think this is the primary. 

investigations  are still ongoing but I still have hope. I’m hoping her gp can refer to the cancer hospital when I speak with them tomorrow as I think the investigations have taken too long at a local hospital. 

I hate cancer my partner is getting ready for a stem cell transplant 11th September to hopefully cure chronic myeloid leukaemia.

Feel really lost