I had my worse day so far yesterday! We are going on holiday on Saturday. We always had our holiday with mum and dad and this is the 1st time we will have to set off without her. Yesterday I kept forgetting she was gone and I was thinking ‘Mum will be so excited’ and ‘I’ll call mum in a mo and see how she’s doing with the packing’ and then I’d remember and it hit me like a ton of bricks! 

I am so desperately sad that she’s not coming with us but also think it will do us all good to get away and it’s somewhere that we haven’t been with her before so it should be somewhere fresh to go if that makes sense? 

I also really struggle with driving when I’m my own. My kids go to school 20 mins away and the onward journey on my own is one of the toughest times for me. I’ve started using this time to have a chat with her as I drive along. It really does help and as I know her so well I find I know exactly what she would be saying to me in return.

I went back to work on Tuesday. My hours have just been reduced massively and I’m only working one day which is a curse and a blessing. I think it would be better to be kept busy. Could you speak to your boss and maybe go back on reduced hours to ease you into it a bit slower? I think though that you will find that once you go back it will be a real Godsend to have something to focus on and hopefully start to feel a bit more normal again. Lucky for me I work for a friend so she is very understanding but I have warned her I’m really scatterbrained at the moment. I’m sure if you explain this to your colleagues they will be understanding. 

Look after yourself. Feel free to private message me if you like. I find it such a comfort to know other people do understand x

Thank you Sue and I wish you every bit of luck in your battle I went to every single appointment with my mam so if you ever need a chat about the day I’m here xx