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Struggling with dad being ill

jstrawberry1231
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I’m 19 years old and my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in May 2018. Recently he has been more and more ill and has been spending more time in the hospital. Over the past few days we have been told that he has a few weeks left. 

 

My dad is not accepting this and it is making it extremely hard. We all understand he is extremely frightened as anyone would be but he’s expecting a miracle cure. 

 

We’re now stuck with the dilemma of us not wanting him to come home and to go to the hospice as we can’t handle his needs at home and we are ourselves extremely frightened. Also we do not want him to die in our house as we will have to live there after and how can you eat your dinner in the kitchen he died in? But he is adamant he is coming home and has said despite our protests that he “knows he’s being selfish but he doesn’t care”. 

 

I’m just struggling with everything. I can’t help but think if I live to be 80 I’ll have lived 61 years without him and 19 with him. That’s less than a third of my life with him. It feels so unfair that other girls will get there dad there to walk them down their aisle and their children will know their grandad and I’ll never have that and god would he be an amazing grandad. I hate that this is my life and this is happening to us. 

 

I don’t know what help I’m wanting I just want something:(

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    Hey,

    I'm really sorry to hear about your news. I lost my dad in November last year, i also lost my Nan in the same year. I'm 34, my Dad was 87. To know that my Dad will never see me marry also breaks my heart but all he wanted was for me to be happy when i married someone and not to rush to it. I don't know you, i don't know your Dad but i'm sure he's extremley proud of you. 

     

    The anger and sadness that you're feeling is completely natural. You really know how devestating cancer is when you see it effect your loved ones. All i will say is this, my father passed away 6 months ago and talking to people on here has really helped me as it's only us that understands each other. We're all here for you. Keep being strong. Take care

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    Hiya

    I'm sorry with what you are going through. I lost my Dad 5 months ago, I'm 29 and he was 63. I also have those thoughts, I keep thinking I should have been nearer his age when I lost my Dad . Also totally get the frustration of everyone else getting to have all those things that have been ripped away from you. 

    Even though these thoughts aren't helpful to us it's very hard to not think like that. Never getting the chance to share those moments feels so harsh and cruel and you wonder what you have done to deserve such a tough time. 

    Please know although it feels very lonely and you are the only person who feels like this, you are not and so many people here understand. How your world can turn upside so quickly I'll never understand. 

    Here if you ever want to talk. 

    Rosie x

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