Hi Lullubelle, I am so very sorry to read that you lost your dad, it's very hard and the pain is difficult to bear, losing my mum, I can understand some of what you must be feeling. I am a little further in my journey, coming up to 8 months now. Grief affects us all in different ways but whatever you're feeling is normal, your title of your post sums up how I feel, difficult to describe that feeling....just not being able to grasp that the most important person in your life is now gone.

It's strange isn't it, you do feel alone even though we have family around us, I felt like a young girl again, I'm 55 and I was just like a little girl who wanted her mum, so much it breaks your heart.

Not for me to say and easy for me to say but maybe try to not drink too much, you may find you're stronger than you think, or perhaps think about what your dad would have said to you; I believe my mum is around in spirit, telling me that it will be ok, that the pain and feeling numb will ease. We won't forget our loved one's, how could we but we'll go on living, making them proud and if not today, we will have happier memories when we think of them and treasure the times we remember, happier times.

I'm not quite there yet, it is a day at a time, please don't feel alone, people on this site will understand what you are going through, how hard it is but it will get easier.

I had a very understanding GP, not sure if you have already done so, if not, see your GP, I found it helped.

Sending warmest wishes, take care.