Hiya Conny, 

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, there is no pain quite like it and one of the worst we can feel. I am afraid these feelings are very common and may be likely to stick around for a while. I was the same when my grandma died, she died of cancer too and I will never forget that night when I was holding her hand and she stopped breathing. It took a long time for it to sink in for me, I cried initally and then clammed up and went completely numb, I kept telling myself she was gone but I couldnt believe it. So I am sorry to say that the possibility of the fact that it hasnt hit you yet is likely. Its beautiful that you had such an amazing relationship with you mum, all we can do is hold on to those memories, smile and remember how blessed we are to have had them in our lives. Losing those we love is the hardest thing in the world but I have no doubt that she will always be with you.  

Bex