I'm so sorry. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago of lung cancer. From diagnosis to death was 17 weeks. He was my best friend and my everything. I was 34 and he was a month shy from turning 79. I too felt/ feel robbed of the rest of my life without him but I'm also grateful for having had him 34 years. My mom was with him for 60 years! Although they were 5 years apart, they shared the same birthday. The following year, mom turned 75 and dad would've turned 80. I was planning to have a big celebration for them but God had a different plan. I still cry for my dad so I will not sugarcoat anything. I will say that in due time, you'll remember the better memories VS your mom's illness. It helps to have people in your life who support you. I have a colleague whose mother passed 10 years ago and she told me that she STILL feels lonely despite having a wonderful son and husband. Everyone grieves differently but again in due time, you will think about your mom and just smile. You will hear a song on the radio, see a commercial or movie on TV or hear a joke that will remind you of your mom and make you laugh. You'll laugh just thinking about her laugh. You'll feel her in your kitchen and smell her in your foods that you cook. She will visit your dreams. Mom will never leave your side! She is so proud of you.

I lost the love of my life to cancer around the same time as you lost your lovely mum and although I can’t convince you all will be ok I can tell you that I am in exactly the same place as you are..I too did the days out, holidays, coffees and had a life which has now been so cruelly snatched away! We had such plans for our future together too and like you I am absolutely devastated..I have been told to just breathe, get out of bed and if that’s all I can do then I am doing well so you are too! I am waiting for bereavement counselling so maybe that’s something you could think about? I have been referred by our hospice visiting nurse as I am struggling so much..I feel your pain and it is just as you say but please know you are not alone..x

Hi

I am very sorry to hear about your mum. I too have lost my mum to Breast Cancer last month and was also 69 years old.

My mum got diagnosed quite late so it had already spread to her liver and bones. I miss mum a lot and used to help her at home and with the shopping.

It's normal to feel lost especially when you have lost someone that you are very close to but in times like this, it's important to stay strong. As a matter of fact, I think of my mum every day but I know she is finally at rest and out of pain.

If you do need anybody to talk to, you can always go to your gp and ask for counselling and even bereavement support. Also, you can always talk to family and friends.

I'm so sorry. I won't lie, it is so hard. I lost my mum to lung cancer last year, and this week marks the one year anniversary. 

What I have found, is that not every single day is sheer agony.  I find that on days when I am feeling down, my grief shows up and makes the pain worse. 

There are a lot of triggers too. All holidays, her birthday, anniversaries; of getting sick, passing away, mothers day, my birthday, etc. 

But remarkably, there are some days when I feel ok. Days when I go shopping and feel normal. When I am going for a walk, driving, cooking...it's quite amazing how our brains can compartmentalize the pain.

It helps to find ways to still feel close to her even if she's not here. Things like, writing letters to her, or watching movies and t.v shows that she enjoyed. I started listening to a radio station she loved and I love imagining the dialogue we would have had.

The first few months - year even, are supposedly the hardest. But there are so many great responses here I'm sure you'll find the support and kind words needed to help you get through this.

All the best.

I'm so sorry to hear about your rapid loss. I had a year and a half from Mum's secondary cancer diagnosis and in that time we carried on and made some last memories. She died last March. 

It will be ok - in the end. But it's hard going. One of the hardest things we go through. Full stop.

I lost my Mum last year and my dad to leukemia when I was 7. The life I've had between losing Dad and Mum has been challenging, tricky, emotional and fraught. But it's also given me some of the nicest memories ever. I suppose the only advice, if any, is to take each painful day at a time and tell yourself that every breath you take is actually an achievement. Losing someone is so traumatic, expected or not, that even that - the carrying on - is an achievement. You've taken a massive emotional hit - massive.

Be kind to yourself, keep breathing, and in the end, live your life in honour of your Mum. Despite the pain, she would want you to survive, and thrive.

Sending you my best

T