Just want to send you a vertual hug ... words can't help right now ... but my thoughts are with you ... your not alone on here ... Chrissie

Hello lynneth14; welcome to the forum.  So sad about your partner.  We (and many other species) have an enormous capacity for emotion; when things are going well everything seems wonderful but the downside of all this emotion is that the despair when everything goes wrong is equally vast.  Seems a hard bargain doesn't it?   It seems especially unfair when we see people who have lived and loved together from youth until old age secure in their love.  I have lost several family and friends to cancer and, even after a long time has passed, still find myself talking to them sometimes in my head sometimes out loud (passing comments, not a long discussion!). It hurts no-one and gives me pleasure.   Four weeks is not a long time for grieving; feel free to let your grief out if it helps you..  I don't think sympathy cards are rmeant for anything other than to remind you that people are aware of your tragedy and that they care for you.  Make use of your friends; if they are real friends they will be there for you. Also some people find grief counselling helpful (you could try Cruse Bereavement Cruse Freefone 0808 808 1677).  As is apparent I cannot relieve your current despair but just wanted you to know we are reading your post.  Annie

I just want to say what you are feeling is totally normal. I lost my mum on 14th April and she was my life, my everything. We had just booked a holiday to New York in September forcher 70th and we’re planning Florida for 2020. She also had a holiday booked with my dad this month. When someone is snatched so suddenly it’s hard to process and if you’re anything like me you will feel totally numb but also like you’ve been hit by a train with every breath that you take. Be kind to yourself and allow your mind to heal however it xan, be that with tears, shouting, anger, whatever.

I'm sorry about the loss of your fiance. Unfortunately, lung cancer is also known as the silent killer as their are no symptoms until the end when it's too late. My dad was okay and still hanging out with me every weekend (as he lived with me). Meanwhile, he had a 7cm tumor in his right lung. It was stage 4 lung cancer and he passed 17 weeks later after we opted for no treatment (with an exception of a one-time palliative radiation). He was my mom's life partner ot 60 years, and we still cry for him nearly 2 years later. You will continue to cry and mourn your fiance's sudden and unexpected passing. Next month on your scheduled wedding date, perhaps you can still do something very special to honor him with both of your families and friends involved. He would still love to see you happy and smiling. He will always have your heart first. Until you meet again!

hi Lynneth14

my heart goes out to you for your loss,i like you lost my best friend love and soul mate on 10th feb,i hope you will have way more strength than me,im a weak man whose been crying and missing my partner Jayne like mad since she passed.hopefully your family and friends will give you all the support your going to need to be able to learn to live with your loss.

regards ian

Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I am so glad I am not alone in my lonely place but I am sorry any of us have to feel as we do. Ian, I don’t think you can possibly be weak as we all must be getting the strength from somewhere to even get out of bed in the morning! (It has taken me hours of staring into space to getting to be able to physically move to get out of bed this morning but somehow I have done it!) As for the rest of the day well that will have to be taken minute by minute...yes we all have family and friends don’t we who mean well and who are there to support us but it’s so hard for them (& yes I have been abrupt and miserable with them which is hard for them to take but I suppose it’s because I’m angry!) because all we want are our partners, mums, dads & loved ones back and I feel like screaming this every hour of every day but it makes no difference does it?! The pain is horrendous...

Virtual hugs to you all x