Hi Karenlaura,

I am sorry to hear about your mum,  i understand what you are going through., I am going through the same pain, my dad died the 5th December 18, diagnosed with lung cancer which was metastatic, spread to the brain.  I miss him so much, i feel like i have lost my right arm.

I am always tearful with all the lovly memories, as he was a fantastic father.  May your mother and my dad Rip.

I suppose time os the healer.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's passing especially to lung cancer, "the silent killer". Similar to your mom, my dad passed from lung cancer just 17 weeks after diagnosis. I miss him terribly. I know exactly what you mean by wanting to disappear. Sometimes I just feel like an empty shell of myself, or a leaf blowing in the wind with no direction. You may not feel strong right now but you were strong when mom needed you most. I think it's only normal to fall apart after you see them off to God's glory. I'm sure it was a LONG 19 weeks for you as it was the worst 17 weeks for dad and I. I was with him every step of the way even before cancer (as he lived with me). Life sucks without him. The hope of seeing him again keeps me going. I hope that you find strength in knowing that your mom wouldn't want you to stop living your life. She wants you to bloom like a flower while she flies as free as a bird, and until you meet again. Pray to God and her. She will meet you in your dreams. Live beautifully as she did. Cancer did NOT define your mother. It's not who she was so please don't remember her that way.