Oh Shelby35, I'm very sorry for your loss, your heartbreak comes through in your post. As we are all individual, so is our grief, whatever you feel is normal and I would say its very dificult at this time, so soon after you've lost your dad to keep strong.

I am further in my journey, my mum died in September 2018 and I'm having counselling, so difficult to accept that I won't see her again, it's very hard but cliche as it sounds, time is a healer but I  have some understanding of how you're feeling now, hard to stop the tears and I was the same, angry at the world.

You can only do a day at a time and there are no time-frames, it's an odd thing to say but you have to go with the flow of grief, definitely not bottle it up. Hope you have family/partner close to you who understand how difficult it is at this time and can give you support; if not already done so, it may help to visit your GP?

Take care