i’m not too sure what i’m doing with this, nor why - but i just thought it could help me? call me crazy hahah. 

7 years ago i lost my mum to a brain tumour, i was age 9 at the time, and she’d battled it for 8 years. i think i’m mainly just struggling with her not being here, and feeling like i’m missing out on so much. i see my friends everyday with their mums, doing everything i could only dream of having and doing, and thinking about the future and all the other things both i, and she, will miss out on. i long for the late night cuddles and conversations, car rides and everything else. and i can’t help but feel guilty that i wasted what time i did have with her buy not fully understanding the situation. 

im not sure why i came to here, maybe i’m just looking for some advice or maybe i just wanted to get it out in the open. 

ALSO don’t get me wrong there are days where i’m not troubled with feeling like this - i’ve learnt to be happy, and to cope, but sometimes i’d rather just cuddle into a ball and have some advice about it all