hi. This is my first post, so I’m sorry if I’m a little shaky. I lost my mum to cancer 2 days ago. Feelings are all over the place. I’m 34 and nothing prepares you for this. Ever.

anyway I just wanted to say, that in relation to, ‘coping’ know that there are no right or wrong ways to cope. I’m taking everything hour by hour right now.  I suppose that’s the most any grieving person can do. My thoughts are with you and just accept the emotions as they come. Feel them and let them pass. Sending love.

Hey, I feel like my situation is kind of similar to yours... my mother died almost a year ago, and I was 13, I always tell people I'm fine, but really I'm not. I usually throw myself into something that makes me happy, my mum always sang to me, so I listen to music and play piano a lot. I'm considering starting therapy, but I don't know how to ask my dad without making him sad... It's okay to feel sad, but I always feel the best when I smile and laugh about memories of my mum.

Hope this helps in some way, stay strong,

Em x

Dear Christian,

It is completely normal to feel so sad after watching some struggle with cancer for so long and after a year the sadness is of course still fresh. I want to reassure you that it does get a lot better and you will be able to live your life happily with the lovely memory of your mother and the things you did together. Even if it makes you too sad to look at photos still gather some up and put them in a special place like a box - I have a box with a jumper, some photos, her perfume, a list of her favourite recipes and even a playlist of her favourite songs. When it came to the anniversary of her death I just let myself be really really sad and cry and think of her lots and lots. It was intense obviously but it helped so much and so my advice is to really let yourself grieve in whatever way you want and lost of people feel guilty about enjoying life afterwards- myself included. But there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty at all your mother is always by your side the angel on your shoulder.

I promise it will all get a lot better and remeber that even though she is not with you anymore she is still half of your DNA, the way you speak, your favourite foods, yours mannerisms and almost everything !!! All the love is still there and don’t forget that !!!!