Sadly we lost my mum to bladder cancer on the 29th dec 2018, it has been a very stressful time, mum was told her cancer was terminal last Feb having been in and out of Maelor Hospital and lots of messing about taking samples and not being able to hold water and having no help whatsoever from Macmillan or Marie curie when it was really needed.

on the day mum was told it was terminal she went to the macmillian site at the hospital to seek some help the woman replied sorry have not got time now off on a course, when I rang them up sorry your mum lives in a rural area tough. Mum saw a palliative care nurse 3 times from March to Dec the first one quit and the new one started 2 weeks before mum died.

dad with my support l live 110 miles away and work full time looked after mum, we gave her everything we could to make her comfortable, one of her visits to hospital she was in a great deal of pain when l asked the nurse for some pain relief sorry your mums notes have gone to the pharmacy it will be a hour which l did speak my mind was my mum is dying she needs the pain relief now please do something they did eventually give her something.

mum was admitted to hospital two weeks before Christmas the cancer had spread to her kidneys she requested to come home for Christmas Day we had a wonderful day it was like having mum back with no cancer she opened all her presents and was surrounded by her friends and a lot of love sadly she was re admitted on the 28th dec and passed away after breakfast and having had her tablets on the morning of the 29th.

even though we knew we were on borrowed time it was still a shock, my dad went to pieces, my husband has been wonderful my brother could have done more, l then had to take full control of everything dad is 86 from seeing mum in the chapel of rest with dad, to arranging the funeral and getting my mum back to Birmingham, sorting out banks,building societies, wills solicitors , letting everyone know in between New Year and my birthday on 11 jan which was just another day. The funeral was beautiful and went well, l then had to get mum interned in the family grave thankfully this has now been completed.

l have had little time to greive for mum l have cried at the daffodils coming up and seeing the stars and moon looking at her photographs most of all I miss speaking to her.

the grave has an angel on she brought me butterflies she loved flowers and snowdrops from her garden and the though of Mother’s Day this year haunts me all l see is the word mum everywhere l look

l have had a lifetime with her but it is not enough .

l went back to work early January and l must say my boss has been wonderful through this all.

sadly dad blames himself a lot of what ifs and do you think the hospital gave her the wrong tablets he is looking for someone to blame he has been very difficult it’s hard for him to accept they were together 64 years 

it’s a tough time for any family going through this