Hello my dear

I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your Dad, I can't imagine how painful that must be for you.

I can't really help with your questions other than to say that most people regret NOT doing something, rather than doing something.... I'm talking in general here, not just about going to see your Dad at the funeral home.  The thing to remember is that he will look at peace, he will not be as a you remember him at the hospital/hospice, so that may bring your some comfort.  Also you will get the opportunity to say your own private goodbye to him.  

As for the funeral, again most people say it goes by in a blur. I am a little different in my way of thinking.  I strongly believe Funerals are for the living, not the dead.  Funerals are ways for family and friends to come together and celebrate the life of your wonderful Dad.  It will be hard, no two ways about it, but you will be surrounded by people who want to share your grief and your burden and in some way make it easier if they can.  You know it's going to be incredibly tough so why don't you plan to do something more uplifting the day after?  A nice long walk?  Go out for lunch?  Retail therapy?  How about buying something from a garden centre to plant in memeory of your Dad...Just Something to look forward to.

Remember there is no right way or wrong way here.... there is just getting through it.

Take care and I wish you lots of luck

Ruth x