I’m 32. My mom, and my best friend, 64, passed away on 4th March 2019. She had stage 4 breast cancer and found out the first week of January. She’d started to have a loss of appetite after flu jab in October and was feeling tired. She worked full time plus a lot of overtime so didn’t think too much about this. She has breast cancer originally 13 years ago and we thought she had beaten it. It lay dormant though and returned but this time into her liver mainly, but partly in bones and lungs. We were told it could be treated and managed so I cling onto that hope. She was herceptin negative. She started chemo on 15th February but was admitted into hospital due to side effects of the chemo the following week. We were told on 27th February it was terminal. We’d spent 2 months wondering round supermarkets trying to find anything that she would like to eat. She passed away with all of her close family around her. We slept in the hospital not going home for days. My dad was next to here for nearly 2 weeks refusing to go home. She was his world.
i don’t know how I feel now, I guess like the rug has been pulled from under me. I’m heartbroken. I feel like I’m dealing with my own grief, I’m worrying about my dad having to deal with this (together ever day for over 45 years) and worrying about leaving him on his own for too much.
My brother told me to have a day for myself today. My husband was out running for the day and normally I’d have took my mom out. I haven’t got any major hobbies and my friends have all got families/children and didn’t want to impose. I just don’t know what to do with my time now. Work will be a good distraction I suppose but I don’t know what to do. I love our girly days and she was the only person who would know what to say to make me feel better. She was an amazing mom to me. I’ve got good friends, family, husband. But nothing is the same as your mom. It’s horrible to say but I’m so envious of friends doing things with their moms. I just miss her so much and I feel cheated that she’s been taken so young and taken away from those that loved her so much. I just can’t get over one minute thinking she would be ok and then suddenly being told she had less than a week to live.
