Hello Katie. My dad died in December. He died of pancreatic cancer. He fought bravely for 2 and a half years. I am struggling with it too. I cry every day as it hurts so much. I am 46, double your age but I feel exactly the same way as you. I tell you that in the hope that you don't think that you're feeling the way you do because you are young or alone in the loss you feel. I hope I have that right.

I too talk to friends and colleagues who say the same as you have said in your post and they say the same thing as you have experienced too. They mean well but it's like they don't quite understand the personal loss.

Personally, I'm taking it day by day. I let myself cry and talk to my dad (bit mad I know but I do talk to him in my head). Some days are ok. Other days it hits me hard. I think just go with the emotions. I miss him terribly as I'm sure you do with your dad. Go with it though. It's OK to feel the grief. I'm sure we will both come to live with it but that loss will be there and that's OK.

I hope that helps in some way. The experience of losing a father to cancer is hard and not everyone understands that...but some do.

Take care and don't be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do about the  loss of your dad. I for one know what you are feeling.

HI Katie, I'm in the very early stages of dealing or not with my Dads death - my wonderfully brave Dad passed away on the 14th of January 2021. The hospital thought his cough was Long Covid right up till the end of October 2020 when the hospital even wrote to him and said there was no cause for concern with his lungs, the cough continued and  when a locum GP finally said he thought it could be cancer and that my Dad should have a Scan- which he had early November and was told they had seen something he would require a Biopsy which they attempted on the 17th Nov - he was told to come to the hospital on the 3rd December to "discuss" findings - Thank God my mum said he wasnt going on his own as the doctor sat down - completley oblivious to the fact my dad didnt know he had cancer at this point and quite bluntly said you have very agressive Cancer and you have roughly 3 weeks to 3 months., I watch my Dad go from a strong figure to a shell of a man in weeks he got through my birthday and my sisters birthday before passing away while i held his hand at 2.50am on the 14th january 2021 - exactly 6 weeks to the day they gave him his diagnosis. I am completly devestated but trying to be strong for my Mum at the same time. i cry on my own i dont know how i'm goig to get through the funeral next week - i wasnt ready to lose my dad.

Hi I to am in the early stages with dealing losing my Dad, I cry most days I still can't believe he has gone.He started with a blood clot in his leg in May, then everything went down from then, but they did X-rays scans you name it, to be told they was not concerned about legions on his lungs.  Then in October he was in really bad pain he got admitted to hospital for a total of 3 weeks, he wasn't allowed any visitors due to Covid, he also had a fall while he was in hospital we was totally traumatised by this.  He came out of hospital on the 20th November 2020 and passed away on the 30th December 2020.   We struggle with everything that happened and still can't believe he's not here, I struggle with quite a lot and have so many unanswered questions did he know he didn't have long because we didn't know.  He fought right till the end, and it was torture to see him in so much pain and to witness the last images of him.   I miss him so much, and wasn't ready for him to go. 

Hi there mum dad died 2016 and I still can't cope it's even worse when I go to the grave I just don't think this pain will ever stop. He was my hero and after loosing mum the year before lossing dad has ruined me inside I can't cope even now and I bottle it all up and tell everyone I'm fine but inside I just want to be with them. I pray for me to die so this pain stops and i can see them again I'm so lost without them. And my dad had nimphoma so we went through keemo together and then I found he had passed away at 1.30 in the morning I stayed over and he said he just wanted to watch the football so I went up at 10.30 and then I woke to find the stairs lights on and I knew straight away any advise would be much appreciated, thanks sll

Hi there mum dad died 2016 and I still can't cope it's even worse when I go to the grave I just don't think this pain will ever stop. He was my hero and after loosing mum the year before lossing dad has ruined me inside I can't cope even now and I bottle it all up and tell everyone I'm fine but inside I just want to be with them. I pray for me to die so this pain stops and i can see them again I'm so lost without them. And my dad had nimphoma so we went through keemo together and then I found he had passed away at 1.30 in the morning I stayed over and he said he just wanted to watch the football so I went up at 10.30 and then I woke to find the stairs lights on and I knew straight away any advise would be much appreciated, thanks sll