Hello Sock1; welcome to the forum.  I hope you can find some of the peace and resolution that you crave.  If you take a look through the forum I think you will find others who are feeling similarly lost; if you can find people whose feelings sound similar to yours it might help if you got talking over the similarities in your lives?  When you say you have no family I imagine you mean no immediate family?  Do you have aunts, uncles and perhaps cousins with whom you can maintain family relationships.  Considering how you are feeling you are coping well in that you can maintain a job and a relationship with your girlfriend so don't run yourself down.   Perhaps you could go back to your GP and try a different kind of medication that may help you cope? Do you have interests that can be shared with other people?  I am not suggesting you try to dive in and become the life and soul of the party overnight but I have found that small steps can slowly slowly improve a bad situation.  Do take a look at the forum and make contact with someone whose situation resonates with you.  Annie