I always believed and most part still do that grief is personal. Since losing mum I have kept my grief to myself and dealt with it how I have needed to. Some part has pushed my husband away. Lucky for me he loves me and refused to be pushed. I through myself back into work and focused on my own children.  I miss my mum everyday some more than others. My friends tell me I am dealing with it all so well. I have my ups and downs but then who doesn't. 

We lost mum is October and we spread her ashes two weeks ago on Monday. She has a place to be now, even though my children will always say that's grandmas star to the brightest star in the sky.

This weekend I know my Mum would be smiling, I spend most of the weekend making a costume for world book day for my daughter. Normally I would ring mum and she would have I have something you can use, and it was always good. Dad is not ready to go through mums fancy dress clothes yet which I completely understand. My mum loved being silly with grandchildren and that involved a lot of fancy dress. Well this weekend I made my first fancy dress out fit and even better my daughter loves it. So thank you mum your creativeness help.

I feel this month will be a hard month with my daughter's birthday and she misses my mum , my sisters birthday plus mother's day too. I keep telling myself the first will be the worsts and it will get easier after that. Next month comes another month of birthdays. 

Sometimes its hard and other times it is easy. All I have learnt is life can be so mean and you have to find a way to live it the best you can. What keeps me going is my mum, she lived for the ones she loved. She was there for us no matter what, I know she is not in pain and she is still in my heart telling me that life does go on and there are people that need you and love you. It is OK and you can be strong but you can also cry. Xxx

Next month