Hey , I'm much older than you. I'm 43. My mum died when I was 9 from cancer. You are braver than me, I didn't reach out to anyone in till I was over 20. U are not alone and never be afraid to reach out.  My 1 bit of advice is talk about your mum , tell your stories and share your memories. That is one thing cancer can not take. Big hug. X

Hi,

I lost my mum to lung cancer when I was 17 (I am 21 now) and I know exactly how you feel. I still get hit with a wave of pain even 4 years down the line. As well, I completely understand when you say that no one your age understands the pain because I get that at university too! Everybody still has their mums to go home to and still talks about what they did with their mum on the weekend and I can never have that again. It is so difficult!

I try to deal with my pain by talking about her as much as I physically can. I tell people all about the memories we have together. It helps me feel like she is still here with me. As well, I try to do everything that I physically can to make her proud. When she was passing away, I failed my A-Levels and she told me that she wanted me to do them again and go to university. So, I have done that and eventually passed and am at university now. I just live my life by taking it one step at a time and try to do things that I know would make her proud. She would've been 60 in January 2020 and so, I am planning a fundraiser for a local hospice that looked after her. It will be on her 60th birthday and hopefully it makes lots of money for charity! But, it's things like this that I do to help me cope with the loss. I don't know whether you have made a memory box? I did this too and wrote down all the memories that I can remember on a piece of paper and put it in there with photos, her glasses, her wedding rings etc. and when I am sad, and miss her, I look at that and the memory piece of paper always makes me smile. She always used to joke and say that I am an ugly crier and so, every time I cry, I try to think of her saying that to me and it always makes me laugh.

I guess I deal with the pain by remembering her as she was and not her when she was ill. Try to focus on what she would want you to be doing and talk about her as much as you can.

Message me if you ever want to talk. Thinking of you.

Jess xoxo

I’m so sorry you have to go through this but it’s comforting knowing that someone knows exactly what I’m going through x  I tried to make a memory box with photos and her wedding ring but I love the idea of actually writing down memories. I know how it feels realising that I cannot make any new memories with her or when someone starts bad mouthing their mum and I’m just like you don’t know how’s lucky you are. 

If you you need to talk I think you can message people on this site xxx

you are strong and you aren’t not alone i just know that’s your mum is so proud of you as I hope mine is of me x