Hi there ...

Bless ya ... there's no right or wrong way to grieve ... everyone is different ... l didn't cry at my mum's funeral ... I couldn't work it out as I adored her ... but 2 years later I went to an uncle's funeral, who I knew but wasn't close to ... l sobbed all the way through , it was only later l realised l was crying for my mum ... 

When you talk about your nan, it's painful... but keeping it inside is worse ... it's like going through a storm, but when you come out, there's a rainbow ... I've known people who can't talk about loved ones they've lost, and they take the raw pain with them ... because it stays inside ... we've all talked about my mum .. even to my grandkids ... they feel like they know this wonderful lady even though they were too young to remember ... 

When you loose someone, if you love them, they stay in your heart forever ... my son's adored their nanny ... and although it's been 30 years this year, they always mention her on their face book, and put photos of her with them, when they were young ... they live through us, because we are a part of them, we carry their geans ... so be kind to your heart, and tell it it's o.k to feel or not to feel .. we all cope as best we can ..  and when I pass the house she used to live in, I get this feeling still ... that if I went in , she'd be at her cooker, cooking those crispy chips we all loved .. even now .. sending you a vertual hug Chrissie xx

Hi

Sorry to hear you lost your much loved Nan, it sounds like you had a very close relationship. I can relate a lot to what you are saying from my own situation. 

We lost my mother (silly I know but I prefer to say lost rather than died) in November last year to lung cancer, 3 months on and I still struggle to accept the finality that she is gone forever in fact I feel I'm in denial still. I've cried but nothing like I would have imagined I would have. I spent pretty much all my time with my mother as did my children I loved her without a doubt.

Like you I sometimes feel I just do not have time to sit down and fully take in everything that has happened from  caring for my mother for 10 months and watching her slowly slip away. I work, have children and try to keep as busy as I possibly can. So as not to accept the bleak truth that my mother has gone.

You are not a weirdo at all it's just we all grieve in different ways, some cry and sob others don't. Maybe in time it will come later maybe not. I just find this greiving the most strangest thing ever and it makes me feel so very fed up and I just want it over and to go back to how things were before my mother was ill, although I know of course deep down this will never happen.

It's good you go to counselling and I really hope it helps you to talk. Good luck with your next session.

Take Care x x x

Hi Chrissie,

I just wanted to say that it is so lovely to hear your children still talk about your mother. My children were so close to my mother and I so hope they will always remember how much she loved them.

Also my mother was the same she made the best chips ever what I wouldn't give to see her fit and well as she was asking us did we want chips! 

X x x