I am coming up to 9 months since I saw my mother pass away from cancer whilst holding her hand. It’s still breaks my heart to this day and I constantly get flashbacks to that day. I live with my step father and we were both there when it happened. It was far and beyond the worst day of my life and it kills me everyday thinking about it. I currently attend university and find it difficult to listen sometimes as I start the think about my mum. 9 months on I’d say things have improved but it just comes back and hits me hard sometimes and I start feeling so miserable. I find it really difficult to talk to people about it. I’m a very young person (21)and still have a lot of milestones and events to come up in life and the thought of my mother not being there to witness them really hurts me and makes me feel that these milestones have less meaning because of it.