Hi there,

Im quite new here and I've got a conversation going on about my dad because he is terminal. 

I have always had a rocky relationship with my parents. I've hated them at times and we gone through rows and times of not talking. I always thought they regretted having me and didnt like me. It's caused me a lot of pain. 

I recently discovered for myself that my parents are autistic somehow. I've done a lot of research and spoken to other family members and we all agree. 

Now I know this I can understand things better and all the anger and resentment towards them has gone and I'm so glad it's just in time before my dad dies. 

I regret massively not knowing this. If I had known things would have been different. But the fact is I didn't know and I couldn't have known. It was only when I saw Anne Hegarty speak about it that I started researching it because it all became clear then. 

Regrets are no good. You've become positive and focused and I think you need to be kind to yourself and give it time. It's early days. 

Mental health issues are hard work and difficult to deal with, you've done really well. It's not your fault at all. 

I don't know the answers but I would keep posting on here about how you feel and chat, everyone here is being so supportive to me and it helps me so much knowing everyone is there for me. I write lots down to get it off my chest when I'm usually pretty quiet and private. 

Maybe also read some books on it, I love reading. I've read so much on this stuff lately. If you feel really down and feel like you might relapse it might be worth talking to your doctor and asking to be referred for counselling. It's such a huge thing what's happened to you and I'd definitely reach out and ask for support. Just don't bottle it up. Even journaling, writing down how you feel every day is therapeutic and can help process it. 

Tracy. Xxxxxxx