Hello raggedbear; welcome to the forum. I am sorry you have lost your mum  I hope you don't take offence at me saying that on reading your post it seems that the only person suffering is yourself.  Your brother chose his wife, presumably because he loves her and he is of course going to take her side.   To be full of anger and rage after four years is only harming yourself and that is a very sad way for you to be living your life.    Does your dad have a friendly relationship with your brother and his wife?  And even worse, you don't seem to have been able to grieve for your mum - again the only person suffering is you.    Have you tried to get some counselling - even after all this time Cruse Bereavement Care (a counselling charity) may be able to help you if you give them a ring on their Freefone number 0808 808 1677.  Come on, raggedbear, you don't want to live your life like this.  Get some help to put it behind you.  I am not suggesting that you can become good friends with your brother's wife - but don't let it ruin yours.  Annieliz

Talk mate .