B....y cancer; it just doesn't care whose lives it tears apart.  Am I right in thinking that your dad is going to be the main carer for the younger children and is now caring for your mum.  Having lost my own mum to cancer some years ago I remember the awful period during which she was getting weaker and we were anticipating the dreaded outcome that was coming.  There was a mixture of awfulness as we saw the deterioration and knew that we would be losing her and the fear of what we would do once she was gone.  In fact the former deterioration and fearing what was coming was in some ways worse (if that makes any sense).  Your children are very young but - from experience of caring for friends and neighbours with terminal illnesses - it seemed best for the grandchildren to be there so they knew that their grandma or grandad was very unwell and were able to spend time with them without fear of something that nobody talked about in front of them.  But forgive me, you are doing what you feel is right for your family and coping with your own problems.  You must be frightened too.  Please do come here to let off steam and air your feelings throughout this terrible time.  Annie

Life is cruel, very cruel. I lost my Mum when she was 54, not to cancer but it doesn’t really matter what illness takes them. All I can say to you is that gradually the good memories will come to out weigh the bad ones. There will always be times you want and need her, just as I want and need mine now, but they will become fewer over the years. And right now you won’t know how to cope, but you will get through an hour and then another, and soon one day has passed. Then you get through the next day, and so you go on just a little at a time. 

I wish you strength and courage in the days to come.

I lost my Mum in September - she was just about to turn 53 a week after she died. Found out she had liver cancer and she passed away 8 days after diagnosis. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy but life isn't fair - and that's exactly what she told me. I've lost the most important person in my life and an absolute rock. 

If I can give you some advice though, it would be to ask her as many questions and talk to her as much as possible before her time comes. Ask her to write you letters (if she's able) so you can read them once she's gone; talk about your feelings and hers; make a list of everything you want to tell her and make sure you do just that. My only regret is not telling my Mum exactly how much I thought of her before she died - I simply didn't have time (or rather, I assumed I'd have more opportunities than I did).

Wishing you all the very best, and if you need to talk to anyone just shout.