Hi there ...

I know the heartache of loosing a wonderfull mum .. I had two young children, who were her world ...  my heart broke the day l lost her .. I was only 36 ... but you know, I thought what would mum say to me .. l know she'd say, come on my hunny ... you put your life and love into your kids ... you make them smile for me ... and I want to hear you all laugh again ... 

The love you have for your mum, is the same your children will have for you ... it's your turn now to show them how wonderfull mum's are ... and you know you didn't loose her ... she lives tucked up in your heart now, where she can never hurt again ... and you are half of her ... she will live through you ... just think what she would tell you , if she could ... 

I talk about my mum all the time .. my son's still put pictures of her on their face book 29 years later ... all the time you bring her with you and tell your children, things you remember about her... she will never be forgotten .. she would want you to miss her, but carry on ... and when you can do this, she'll be so proud of her girl .. I still have a few tears sometimes .. it's part of missing them .. don't cry because we loose someone ... smile because we were blessed to have had them in our life's ..

Sending you a vertual hug ...  Chrissie xx

Hi

i also lost my mum in march, mothers day of all days. I have had counselling and antidepressants but i am still struggling. I have gone through the motions this December, and tried to act as normal. But for the last 2 days i have sobbed my heart out. I really cant face christmas without her. My dad has totally shut down and is not entertaining the idea of christmas. He does not want to see any of us or have dinner with us on christmas day. This is making it worse for me. My brother will not talk about it and i have nowhere to turn.  The one person i woukd turn to at times like this is no longer here. I have never felt pain like this and just wish i could move on and just feel happy to have had her in my life. Instead i feel anger and sadness that a woman so loved by everyone and full of life has been cruelly taken away x

Hi Cariad, I read your post and I wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss, my mum died on 26th September and I still haven't got my head around the fact that I won't see her again. I understand the sobbing, you do feel that someone has ripped your heart out, that is the only way I can describe it. I was going to say it is one of the hardest things I have been through, it's not, it is the hardest and most saddest time. It isnt fair and very cruel. My mum would put her arm around me now, tell me not to be sad, not to worry and try and live life to the full, talk about her often, she knows we'll all cry, that dad is broken but we have to support each other and our love for each other will not make us miss mum any less but will help us accept what has happened.

My brother sounds a little like your brother, I think you can only tell him how you feel, if he doesnt want to talk now, just let him know that when he does want to, you'll be there. I am sorry about how you describe the situation with your dad, that is very hard, my dad has always been a very private man, that generation that doesn't talk about their feelings, he opens up more to his grandchildren but they are parents and they told me that as a parent you always want to protect your children and he knows how heartbroken I am and puts on a brave face for me. Perhaps if he doesn't feel he can see you all on Christmas day, you could just pop in yourself for short while, I don't know what is best to do.

I hope I haven't spoken out of turn on such a personal time for you but I wanted to say I am just so sorry for your loss and I do understand how awful it is. I hope that it does become easier for you all.

Take care x

Thank you Linda

you seem to understand exactly how i feel. i am going ti mums grave in the morning then i am going to pop in on dad and try to spend some time with him. I am going to tell him that its fine if he doesnt want to come for dinner, but if he wants some company then he is welcome to just drop in on us. I just want to get christmas out of the way this year. 

Thank you for your kind words and i wish you a very peaceful christmas x