Hi zeb69

i am so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

I lost my husband and best friend on 2nd July, he was 56. We had so many plans for our future together. My emotions are still raw and I miss him every minute of every day. Although he was diagnosed just under a year before we lost him, he too went downhill very quickly which shocked us all.

I am blessed to have family and friends who care for me, but I can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely. I don’t have anyone to talk to the way I talked to him, what we shared was so special.

i cope by taking a day at a time. I know I will never get over losing my beautiful husband, but at some point I will learn to live with it. I don’t know how or when, but a day at a time is all I can cope with. Our 2 daughters have been an amazing support, and I couldn’t have got through the last couple of months without them.

i have recently gone back to work. It is helping, the distraction and the interaction with my colleagues who have all be so supportive and kind.

Someone told me “You can cry because he’s gone, or you can smile because he lived.” I still cry most days, I miss him so much and it all still feels so surreal as he was so fit and healthy prior to diagnosis. I talk about him all the time, I look at photos of us and the memories make me smile, and then I cry again as we had so many more memories to make.

I know that I am blessed to have been one half of something so special, but I wanted more time, more memories.

Sending lots of love and strength to you and your daughters. Know that you are not alone in your heartbreak and devastation. xxx

Hi lockharta,
I haven't read all of the replies, but thought maybe my advice may help you.
I lost my father exactly one year ago last week. My mum, who loved my father more than anything, he was her entire world... she was so distraught she attempted suicide she saw no hope without him at all. I found her, and she was in hospital for days.
I moved home permanately to be with her, she is 56 and I am 26. She cried everyday, and still does but at the 8 month mark we both agreed something had to give. Friends, hobbies and being a volunteer weren't distracting enough, she could barely leave the house. So, after weeks of suggesting, I made her join a dating website.

Well, this was the turning point. She started talking to a man online, the first day she joined. Long story short, they have a cruise planned for next month, he makes her smile and laugh everyday, cries with her and she honestly believes my father sent him to her. She in NO way thought she was ready to even talk to someone new, but because she did, she has found someone amazing who is willing to take things as slow as possible. She still cries a lot, but she now also smiles too.

Wishing you luck and love.

Hi there 

i am am so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. I lost my husband Howard on 17 December last year. When I read your post it could have been me who had written it. I feel exactly the same. My husband was 66 still too young. He was fit and health before cancer.We had lots of plans for the future but to.no avail; we lost such a lot because of this awful disease. I miss him every second but most of all I miss not having him here to talk to to cry with to laugh with and to hear him say, we’re alright aren’t wehe was such a brave strong man.

Sadly, life goes on and you have to sink or swim and I know what he would want me to do. But it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Some days I wake up and wonder how I’m going to get through the day and I genuinely feel physical pain. I’m sure you know what I mean. It doesn’t get easier you just get constant reminders every in everything you do. I may learn to live with it one day but I will never get over it, never. So, although everyone’s grief is personal to them, I understand you must be feeling and my heart goes out to you. Anytime you want a chat I’m here to listen. Take care. Gillian x

Hi Gillian

I am so sorry too for the loss of your husband. 

Thank you for taking the time to reply and for your kind words, which have brought tears to my eyes. I can relate to all you have written.

This is the toughest thing I have ever had to face, and without my protector and best friend, it makes it all the more difficult. To know we are not alone is a comfort, but also so sad as this cruel disease has taken so much from so many.

I may take you up on that chat!

Lots of love

Mel xxx

Thanks for replying to me.

Taking baby steps and doing anything that helps to relieve the 

unbearable pain is all I can do.

Bringing up our teenage daughters alone is a scary feeling 

and I feel like I’m the worst mum in the world to support them 

right now when they need it most. It breaks my heart 

to see them getting on with life without their father.

That awful disease has taken our family’s happiness and security in a way that can never be replaced.

 I know how you feel and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy 

x

Hi I lost my wife June this year we only had a few day and no time to talk very much as I was in the middle of radiotherapy as well losing my wife half way through my treatment was devastating my children frog marched me to the rest of the radiotherapy she was always a happy woman and my soul mate I don't know about you but I will never get over her loss even in tears now at work I had a bird box put up at the crematorium where I go every weekend I write a live letter to her and post it in the bird box I just wish the pain would go away sorry for the rant a bad day

Hi, I am new to this site but I am feeling so desperate, all I want to do is close my eyes and not wake up! I lost my wonderful partner 16th August , due to mistakes by doctors, cause of death has not yet been ascertained, although he was suffering with a particularly aggressive cancer.  One week from being told to his death.  I sat with him for 9hrs the night he died, it wasn’t peaceful and I can’t get those awful images out of my head.  I scream and cry for him every day, all day.  I am completely exhausted and can see no life without him.

it was my wonderful man’s funeral yesterday and today the grief is terrible.  We had no children, He had children from his first marriage, but now the funeral is over I know there will be no further support from them.

I can’ t carry on with this post anymore at the moment, we were terribly private people and sharing feelings is alien to me.

Sorry.

Hi I'm so sorry for your loss weight some one told me the flashbacks of my wife dying were part of the greaving process it is horrible isn't it my wife passed in June I'm hoping that they ease a little soon I'm exhausted with them

Hi, Sorry for your loss, 

I know that people tell me that the flashbacks will fade but it seems like they are on repeat, just going round in my head all day and night.  I can’t seem to do anything, I just don,t want to get out of bed, nothing means anything anymore. I stay in one room so Idon’t have to face too many reminders of my soulmate. How on earth does anybody cope with this awful longing ang emptiness. I cry so much my head hurts, I just want to be with him.