Hi all. This is a bit of a weird post, and I apologize if it's a bit all over the place.
My mum died in May, and I am still in a lot of pain. This is natural, of course. Most of my close friends have been supportive, and I am very grateful for that.
Here's the weird bit. My boyfriend never told his father that my mum died. They aren't close, and the only time he sees him is at family parties where it would be inappropriate to annnounce such things. It obviously shouldn't have been my responsibility to notify them.
Well, he called his dad the other day to wish him a happy birthday and when his dad asked how he was, he mentioned that things had been difficult since my mum had passed. He said "oh? When did she pass then?" He said "May". He said "Oh, that reminds me of one of my friends going through some health problems" bla bla bla. He literally launched into a big long thing about his friend. He didn't say "sorry" or "please send my regards". Nothing. He offered absolutely nothing.
This is someone that I have known for 17 years. I see him several times a year at various family functions, and he's stayed over at ours as well.
A couple of days before my mum fell ill we were actually at his house. My boyfriend was telling him about my mums struggles and how worried we were about her (we didn't know that literally two days later she would end up in ICU and that she would die 10 days later - but obviously, even then we were very concerned for her) and he couldn't have looked less interested if he tried. He was actually looking out the window or something and more interested in a little bird that had landed on his porch than what my boyfriend was telling him. I watched him closely, and realized he was completely uninterested. I almost felt like saying to my boyfriend "why are you bothering? Are you looking at his face? He doesn't want to know". The moment that there was a pause in the conversation, he took it to talk about himself and change the subject. He offered absolutely no sympathy.
I was a bit surprised that my boyfriend didn't notify him of her death. And I was also a bit surprised that he hadn't heard about it through "the grapevine".
How am I supposed to even interact with him again, when he clearly does not care about me even a little bit? I'm trying not to be hurt by this. But my father died in September 2017, and then my mum in May this year. So now I have no parents. It's actually more painful to be around someone who *should* be somewhat like a parent, than to not have anyone at all.
