Hello and welcome.  There is no time limit or common pattern for grieving.  I lost my mum to cancer quite a few years ago now and have lost others about whom I cared in the years since.  In my experience, grieving is not a finite emotion.  The love you felt for the people you have lost never disappears and they are always part of you.  I still "talk" to my mum and others I have lost.  I visit graves and talk - the cemetery where neighbours are buried - those who were not cremated - is close by my home so it is not quite as bizarre as it sounds; my son's father died of lung cancer six years ago and I still continue in my head the arguments we used to have as part of talking to him!  Try writing down the things you didn't get to tell your mum.  That way they might not churn around in your head so much.  Just be kind to yourself and do whatever it takes to get you through each day.    Annie

Hello there ,such very early days for you loosing your Mum like this .When i first lost my husband eventhough i had 9 months to prepare myself for loosing him the pain as you say of loss is as you say a physical one .It is like no other feeling anyone could ever experience . There is such an emptiness right inside you as if you have been turned inside out ,you feel raw and exposed . I always think crying is a very important release yet it can leave you drained and exhausted .So what to do ,how can I help ? how can anyone know what to say when you are so very sad and missing your Mum so terribly and it hurts so much

Firstly you must tell yourself you would not have wanted your Mum to spend months trying to fight her Cancer ,loosing her slowly before your eyes ,however shocking it is to loose her so quickly .You must try and think of how it was for her and you would know although you have been left totally bereft for your Mum her passing saved her from loss of dignity and self . From what you say she seemed a very proud lady who would not have chosen to linger as not the woman she was..

The sadness of things we wanted to say and the missing of hugs and cuddles,says so much of the relationship you had with your Mum ,hard though it is, once you can start remembering the times when you were able to have your Mum there to share the things you now miss so badly and be able to talk about those times and smile about them you will begin to feel less sad about no longer having her there to do it. 

The good memories really do start taking over ,you will feel her about and around you ,it will be as if she is there believe me ,once you start remembering ,smiling and yes,laughing ,i can assure you she will be there .

I never for one moment thought what i have told you was possible ,but be ressured it is . You will be able to speak to your Mum and hear in your head what she would be saying to you ,you will even be guided by her ,you will feel her hugs and cuddles and as you have always done share your life with her.

My children were young when they lost their father and as adults now with families of their own they too have this relationship with their late father , they are all different characters and yet we all have the same continuing relationship of love and tenderness with their Dad .

I hope in some way what i have said helps you through this dark time for you .xx 

Hi there. I feel the same way. Lost my mum 6 months ago too. She was also stubborn about going to the doctors and passed away only 3 months after her diagnosis. So hard to process that. I cry every day. I wish I could still talk to her, she was the only person I could talk freely with in the world, about so many things. We had so much in common. Kindred spirits. I can't offer any advice, but just wanted to offer my support. We're all going through a loss and we aren't alone. Hugs.