Hello Hm; sorry you are having such a rough time.  I am not really in a position to comment on the reasons for the problems in your marriage but can understand that you have had trouble dealing with what should have been a happy event at the same time as the tragedy of losing your mum.  I think you need to get some help; perhaps counselling from a charity such as Cruse Bereavement Care which may help you  (I attach a link).    There are of course private grief counsellors but I don't know how much they cost.  From the sound of your post your relationships with your nearest and dearest are going downhill and as you are very unhappy yourself you need to try to get help.  Tell them that you are trying to get help and stick with it.  Best wishes, Annie

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Losing a parent is hard and a massive thing to deal with.

Both my parents have died so I understand exactly how difficult it is.

Family and close friends are fine but sometimes they can be too close to you and emotions can run high.

I lost someone very very close to me recently and after a year of trying to deal with his death I took my GP's advice and contacted Cruse.I have always sorted out all my issues and problems in life so I had never done anything like this before.

I found Cruse to be extremely helpful.I shocked myself at how open and honest I could be with a total stranger.It definitely helped.The pain of losing a dear person never truly goes away but Cruse definitely helped me to live with it and to live with myself and those close to me.

I hope this helps a little bit.