Hi crazy cat, what a sad post to read on such a beautiful Sunday morning. My heart goes out to you. What a wonderful man your dad was. And how lucky he was to have you in his life.I guess the next few weeks and months are going to be incredibly tough for you but if there is any comfort to be had try and find it in the fact that your dad didn’t suffer at the end (by the sounds of it), that you were with him and that you had time to say goodbye.

 I wish you lots of courage and love for the future. 

Ruth x

Thank you so much for the kind words. I feel absolutely terrible for wanting him to go so not to be any more pain but now would give anything just to have him here even for just a few moments x

I honestly know exactly what you mean and what you are going through. The look in my Mum's beautiful eye's the final day as the Macmillan nurses came in, I felt relief that my Mum decided to check out before they got a chance to come back in a second day. Our journey was short, and the first day when the world feels entirely different than you may have ever known,, I kept repeating that at least Mum didn't have to endure the indignity that I know she must have felt if only once. i can't bare to imagine what she may have felt like, and repeated it to myself  the first and second day, which got me through. And then you just want them here. You will find comfort on here in Knowing that neither your dad or you are alone. I promise it will help you cope x