Lost my dad two weeks ago

Well the story goes my dad was unwell in February the day after my birthday since then until two weeks he fought bowel cancer.  I cared for him with my sister and didn’t even matter about not seeing friends or having a holiday it was a almighty given we have to be there for him.  We lost my mum 9 years ago that was dad.  Dad has fought illnesses the last 15 years but was always ok with his heart he always overcome it.  Even though we were told stage 4 and no operation. I guess I cried all those times in private so he didn’t realise how much it hurt.  But I had to be strong for him so September was the worst been told there was nothing else they could do after Ben told maybe a year you think it’s not long enough. He was given two weeks but that lasted five weeks  where two weeks ago today he passed which he wasn’t in a nice state because the cancer had spread to all his organs but he was a fighter I’m so proud of him.   He kept talking to my mum which made it worse.  It is his funeral on Monday I’m at a loss I can’t cry anymore I still think he is here and it’s until I can’t phone him it hits me even though I have friends and family I feel alone and don’t know how I am going to keep going.  It’s sounds daft but I am sick of people saying keep strong I have been strong for 9 months and don’t know how much more I can take. Sorry guys just needed to get it off my chest.  Thanks for listening x

  • HelloLmb10; so sorry you have now lost both your parents. Forget being strong.  You have kept your end up when you needed to do so; I think you are entitled to give way to your grief now. Actually, you are are entitled to do whatever you feel.  No rights or wrongs; you cannot help how you feel.  Just take one day at a time and get through it in whatever way helps you best.  I don't mean drink yourself silly or anything like that but you should not try to stuff your emotions out of the way.  As you and I both know, nothing prepares you for the death of a parent.  Although we know in theory that they are likely to die before ourselves we don't know how much it knocks us for six to lose the people who have loved you since the moment you were born.    So next time someone tells you to be strong tell them that you don't feel strong and will get through this as best you can.  It is horrible and nothing will change that.  Keep close to your sister who is doubtless going through a similar process and just keep going the best you can.  You know you are always welcome to come here and let off steam or tears or whatever.    The funeral will doubtless be difficult but it is your day to get through as best as you can without well-meaning friends trying to direct your actions.  I know I sound a bit bolshie but I do sympathise with you having been there myself.   Annie

  • I am so sorry for you XX I have a huge lump in my chest thinking about what you are going through right now XXX I'm worried about my mum she is very poorly. This is so unfair .I am also the one who always has to be strong but I just want to run away and scream