Dear Linda I know how hard it can be on a day to day basis. My darling husband of 42 years died a year ago of kidney cancer. I seem to miss him more and more. My mum is now failing fast and my son has just been diagnosed with melanoma. It all feels too much sometimes. Friends and family are lovely but they don't know how hard it is at the end of the day. Please feel free to talk to me anytime. Much love 

Thank you Sandy, I am so sorry for your loss and to hear about your mum and son, without prying, I hope that there is something that can be done or treatment going through now that is helping them. I don't know what to say, I can only imagine a small amount of what you're going through but understand when you say it all feels too much sometimes. The Minister at my mum's funeral has invited us all to a remembrance service, for all people who have lost someone, not sure whether to go, Thank you for replying, it does help, you helped me by understanding. x

Hi Linda

So sorry to hear about your loss..my mam went to Heaven on 14th Sept. I was doing well but regressed in my grief completely once reality started to sink in. Bereft, broken and empty is pretty much how i now feel. I don't like talking about her as i know it will bring the tears whereas a few weeks ago i could chat away no bother. I don't like thinking about her either despite the fact she occupies my every thought. I feel I've no-one to properly talk to and no anchor despite the fact I'm happily married with small children and have a lovely dad and siblings. Our mothers are are first and greatest love and i think that's why it's particularly hard when they go. I talk to mine constantly and have started feeling her presence on my right side as well have having so many signs and weird coincidences since she left.  A friend told me to see this as a temporary separation which bolstered me no end as i hadn't really thought about it like that so maybe it will help you. Please ask your mother for signs, they will come and in the most subtle ways so be open to them and take time to be still and quiet during the day. I've several friends who have lost the mother's and they say the only thing that helps is time so I'm sure in 6 months or a year's time we will be in a better place. Do remember that death does not mean the relationship ends, it merely changes from the physical to the Spiritual.

Chat again

Lots of love

Denise

Hi Denise,

Thank you for your reply, I hope today has been ok for you? Sorry, that seems trivial to say ok but you know what I mean. I have returned to work and its busy which distracts my mind for a while, but as soon as that stops, thoughts are back to mum.Just spoke to dad and he was looking through photo's, breaks my heart , he was so devoted to mum, theirs was a great love story.

Do you go through the guilt, wishing I had spent more time with her, told her more times that I loved her , how  special she was to me and she doesn't know how my heart is broken now. You're lucky, you say you can feel your mum's presence, I don't feel that, although I have a pendant with mums fingerprint, odd, wouldnt have thought about that but it was the Funeral Directors idea, I hold that close and shut my eyes.