I feel so strange,  it's like life carried on but my mum died, she struggled with non small cell cancer in her lung for two years, I left my life in Cyprus to come back and be with her and try help her fight this evil disease, since she's gone I feel utterly helpless and lost in my life, I'm jobless as I quit everything to be with her, she was on immunotherpy trials after the cancer went into her rib she became bedridden , she fought the cancer hard for two yrs using medical marijuana, and I do think it helped her to eat. After the medical interventions radiotheropy, and immunotheropy I believe she got steadily worse. 

I feel this struggle fight ended, and now I feel no purpose in my life, my mum was my best friend and now I'm totally alone and very lost. Her death came very soon literally after she went to take pain management from a local hospice, she was cognitive and OK on the 3rd of Sept she died on the 12th she called me asking me to get her out of the hospice 16 th on the 14th she was drooling....and I barely able to speak and dad and I tried to get her taken out....16th she was supposed to leave to go home she died on the morning she was supposed to come home I didn't get to say goodbye she died before my dad and I could get to see her. I'm mortified with grief I have voicemails from her that I received it's all I got left of her I feel so lost miserable heartbroken. I need help with bereavement and I really don't know where to go