Hello there.  I remember feeling totally lost when my mam died (and my dad some years afterwards) - it is bound to be the case as you have never known life without your parents and nothing prepares you for the loss even though our logical mind knows that our parents are likely to die before we do.  You don't believe it at first but slowly, slowly as the months go by infinitesimal moments when it is not so painful start to happen.  Of course you are not forgetting your mam and the things you did with her; I always say to do whatever makes you feel a bit better; I used to talk to my mam - sometimes out loud other times just in my head - and imagine what she might say and how she would look.  There is no easy way through the first months.  I would walk along the beach (I was brought up by the seaside in Sunderland) and remember walking there with her so many times and how she used to take me there for a swim on sunny days after school and at weekends when I was younger.  I promise you that you will not lose the memories and remembering them will keep your mam alive in your mind.  If you have no close family to talk with there are I hope neighbours and friends who will be happy to share memories with you.  Ask yourself what your mam would say to you when you are feeling low.  And of course do talk to us here as much as you want - we have allbeen through these bad times.  Annie