Julie, I am so sorry to hear about Paul, I myself have just lost a love to a sudden death I try to keep in mind that she was suffering, it's better for them to have left than to stay in this world to be in pain. Everyone deals with greif differently but I would recommend doing something you both would've loved. For example, go out to his favorite restaurant, make sure your life keeps going, but always have him in mind x

Hi Julie, I’m so sorry to hear you lost your husband and so quickly. My husband died almost six weeks ago, very suddenly as well. We were not expecting it at all. He’d only been diagnosed with cancer for 7 weeks so we were only just coming to terms with that, when he died so suddenly,  I was completely shocked. 

He is the love of my life, I adore him so I’m devastated and can understand some of how you feel.

Yesterday I had an appt with the hospital to talk through what happened with the Drs, as it happened so quickly I just couldn’t process everything at the time. I went with a list of questions and we went through everything, they had all his records with them. It was very hard but good and helped me understand a little more of what happened.

You may not want to do it now but in a few weeks it might help you to have a chat with them all and ask some questions. 

You are right, you are in shock and you are broken-hearted, I feel exactly the same. I can hear my husband talking to me as well. I miss him so much I wonder how I’ll get through the next hour without him. I visit his grave everyday. 

What you feel is normal and right. Someone said it would be a poor reflection on our relationship if I wasn’t broken-hearted as I love him so much. 

There isn’t much anyone can say that will help, I know from experience but let yourself cry as much as you want dnd don’t listen to anyone telling you how you should think of feel. No one knows how to feel apart from you. Your husband is worth every tear you shed. 

Xx

Hi and thank ufor understanding i just want answers as to wh6 this happened so quick he was fine the night before i spoke to him on the fone just carnt get my head around it its eating me up inside as to whyit happened so fast

Hi thank u for response yes i defently want answers as to wot happend he was only toldhe had cancer again 5 weeks ago just carnt get it out of my head it was so quick he was fine and bubbly the night before i seen him at hospital and spoke to him on fone at 843 that evening im going to ask doctorstheir why so sudden i wont be at ease until i no xx

Yes your right he was always saying he was in pain i just need answers as to why it was so sudden when he was fine the night before i think if i talk to the doctors itmay help me understand a bit more thank u for your reply take care god bless you xx

Ask the hospital for a meeting. I think they are arranged through the chaplaincy and bereavement team, they set mine up. I met with the Consultant and Registrar and we looked through all my husband’s records and I asked as many questions as I had. They were brilliant and they really helped me. They were also very kind and both had tears in their eyes as they were shocked it happened as well.

It was hard, take someone for support and to take notes,  but it was worth it. It really helped me understand what happened to my darling husband. Although it can’t bring them back, I needed to know what had happened as thinking it over and over was driving me mad. It sounds like you are the same. 

Mom always here if you need a chat, I know some of how you are feeling xx

Hi hun thank u yes i got a meeting with the doctors next week its been 2 weeks now i feel like im going round and round thinking wot if its so hard to accept why it was so quick i was laughing and jokeing on the fone night before i just carnt understand wots gone wrong thank u for u kind support hun i feel for u to i realky no how hard it is xx

I’m so glad you have an appt, take someone with you if possible, I got my cousin to take notes so I could read them after. Write down everything you can think of. I really hope you get some answers. Yes, I really know how you feel as well, I felt I was going mad as I kept thinking I should have done this... I should have done that.... if only I’d done this.... but I see now it wouldn’t have made any difference to my darling husband. 

I really hope you get some answers to help you. Please let me know how you get on. 

I still cry every day and visit my husband’s grave every day. I have to start back to work soon so know I won’t be able to visit as much then but I find I can talk to him there. 

Thinking of you xx