Oh hunny ...

I'm so so sorry .. sometimes cancer is at its crulest like this ... there is a young person's place you could try .. I think it's @rip-rap ... I'll hope @ask the nurses .. pick up your tread to confirm it .. where you can chat to others like yourself dealing with this heartache ... but saying that there's lots on here, who will hold your hand when you need it .. 

I can't imagine just how hard it must be to cope at your young age ... have you got brothers or sister's .. is there a plan to care for you ... just go with your feelings, whatever they are .. we have to go through so many .. weather is crying, feeling scared or just numb .. or wanting to do normal things .. our brains are funny things .. when our heart hurts, the brain trys to make sense of it all ... when there is none .. it's just getting through every day, as best you can ... 

I'll send you a friend request ... only use it, if you'd like to chat along the way ... I had two nieces who lost their dad .. as teenagers .. and I remember so well how it effected them .. and I can't take it away, but I can listen and be here ..  sending you a big hug ... I think your mum would be so proud of you .. 

Chrissie  xx

I'm so sorry to read about the unexpected loss of your mum yesterday Lily, and on behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat I would like to offer you our heartfelt condolences on her passing.

Coping with grief is a tough journey to go on but you are not alone. As Chriss has already mentioned there is a website for teenagers called riprap where you can chat to others about what you're going through so do have a look on their if you feel this would help you at this time. They also have a handy list of organisations that can support you and help you cope with your grief, so again do have a look at the link I've provided and see if any of the options on there would be suitable for you.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve and everyone manages in different ways, but a lot of members here on the forum have found talking to be a great coping mechanism so do talk to your family and friends about how you are feeling and what you're going through as they will want to do all that they can to help. You may find your family are feeling the same way so do talk to them when you can. 

I'm sure your school is aware of what has happened and will be doing what they can to support you, but it may be worth seeing if there is a someone there, such as a school councillor, you can talk to about what you're going through as well.

I do hope this helps Lily and our thoughts are with you at the time.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry for your loss my darling , all I can really say is do what you think your mum would want you to do and when you feel sad think of something funny she said or did and turn your tears into laughter darling . Go and get those results your mum would have been proud of and stay strong xx 

Chrissie, thank you so much, I live with my grandparents and have a support network made up of my much older siblings and my uncle. Thank you, Lily xxx

Thanks for your support and kind words, this really helps,Lily xxx

Lily I’m so very sorry about your mum. I don’t think there is any right or wrong way to get through things but you can only take things one day at a time. And talk to the people you love. Someday your head might feel in a scramble and you might not be able to concentrate on things and other days it might feel better. Don’t think one bad day means all days will be bad. It takes time and you can’t force yourself to feel a certain way.

My dad died 3 weeks ago and I didn’t know if I could cope with work and looking after my wee girl and thought my head would be too messed up to cope. Some days I have struggled and others days have been better. I’ve been trying to go to bed at a decent time because trying to get more sleep helps a bit. And this might sound like a weird tip but remember to drink enough water. When I’ve had bad days sometimes I’ve forgotten to drink enough and it’s made me feel much worse. 

I don’t know if you’re quite open with your emotions but dont feel afraid to get upset in front of people. It’s healthy and normal and it helps not to feel you’re having to keep things in. If you’re feeling crap it’s ok to tell people you feel crap. 

Im so glad to hear you have your grandparents, uncle and siblings and I hope they are helping you through. 

You’re going through so much, please be kind to yourself and don’t judge yourself at all for anything you feel, think or do. 

Glad you have reached out for help on this forum and hope you are doing the same with your friends and family.

sending you lots of love and a virtual hug.

x

Thank you so much Jo! I really appreciate your kind words xx

Hi there ..

I'm so glad your grandparents are with you .. I know how much my grandkids mean to me .. they are my world ... so hope there's lots of hugs .. and sharing tears are good ... if ever you want to chat , I'm always here .. you can private message me if you want a shoulder along the way ... 

So remember your not alone .. so many amazing people on here .. sending one of my nanny hugs right over to you .. Chrissie

Chrissie, you're an angel, thank you so much! xxx