Hi. I'm so sorry you have lost your mum. It does get easier, but not exactly in the way you might think. I think we are permanently different people after experiencing such a tragic loss. I'm actually not even sure it will ever feel real either. It does feel like it's just too big to process. However, the actual pain of losing someone so special to us does abate a bit. We are given some time in between the heavy sessions of pain. Those in between times we can almost feel like our old selves again - even if it is briefly. It's weird, but somehow time does continue to move forward, whether we want it to or not. Our own lives continue, in a slightly altered way. 

As for ways to cope, for me I've been writing my mum letters. I find that I start to crave our conversations where I'd update her on all my news - however big or small, important or trivial, she liked hearing it all. After my letters I actually do feel like we've talked. It does help. 

Everybody grieves differently. For me it was pretty much nearly constant pain for the first few weeks. Then it was several intense episodes a day for the next two months. Now, 4 and half months later it's still in the back of my head quite a bit, but I don't wake up in the middle of the night stunned. I don't have as many nightmares. It does get better. But it does take time. All the best. 

Hello JARule95

 I am so sorry to  read about your mum, I can well imagine how  devastating it must be. I am preparing myself, as much as I can, for the loss of my beloved husband. Everytime I think about it I want to scream   I know how I feel now and he is still here, Lord knows how you must feel having lost your darling mum.

 I have a friend who gave me some brilliant advice last night.  She said, for her, grief was like being on a rollercoaster.  You have to push through the dips to start climbing up the other side and when you get up to the top you will probably find that you are coming back down again very quickly but it does eventually even out. The trick is not to be afraid of being overwhelmed by these feelings. They are natural and are your body‘s way of dealing with grief.  I have no idea if this will help but I do know, for your mum’s sake and in memory of her, you must keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forwards.  Good luck and take good care of yourself Xx