Hello Amanda,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear you lost your mum in February and that the pain has been very vivid since. Please don't feel guilty about anything - you obviously couldn't have done anything better or differently and clearly had your mum's best interests at heart. Along with your sisters, you were there for her in her final days and it must have been comforting for her to know or feel that you were by her side. What a brave lady your mum was.

It is normal for you to feel this way and you can read more about the grieving process on our website here. There is no standard formula though for everyone - we all grieve differently and go through a range of feelings that can sometimes feel overwhelming. I have often read here that the two things that help the most are time and support but obviously the time it takes to feel better and the support available can vary from one person to another. I am sorry to hear that you have no one to talk to - I hope you can reach out and talk to others who can understand what you are going through like your sisters, for example. You have also joined the right place to talk to others who are currently dealing with the loss of a loved one and I hope you will hear from some of our members who have recently lost a parent and that they will share with you how they have been feeling and how they have managed to cope. For example, [@heartstring]‍ also lost a mum in February. You can read [@heartstring]‍ 's story here and share your experience if you wish. It can help to connect with others who are currently dealing with a similar pain and have lost a loved one to cancer.

I will now let them come and say hello and share their story of how they managed to regain a certain amount of normality. We are all here for you anytime you need to talk.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator