Hi,
I've not posted on a forum before but sometimes it's easier to speak to those not involved.  
I very recently lost my Mum to gallbladder cancer. It was found by accident after gall stones so had a second operation and was routinely scanned. Unfortunately it returned and 3 months of chemo followed. Was given hope by a referral and a third operation. Thought that was it and just wait out the next 5yrs. However soon discovered it had widely spread and there was nothing left that could be done, she didn't ask how long but we imagined the summer to make more memories. Unfortunately 12 days later she passed away.  We were with her which was peaceful for her but horrendous for us for many reasons not expected.
That was just over a month ago and it still doesn't seem real to be facing a brighter future of second chances and then to have it all suddenly ripped away.
I'm a mother myself to three children under 7 -and I'm struggling as life moves on for them and their needs of me as their mum but all I want to do is run away and have some quiet where I can be a daughter. My eldest is finding it tough at times dealing with the loss of her grandma as they were as close as can be.  She is pushing all the buttons with her younger brother.  My siblings don't have children so have the time they need.
I miss my mum. Sorry for the long post but just needed to get it all out and clear in my head.
Our mantra through all this....Just because life gives you a cactus, it doesn't mean you have to sit on it!  ..., Look for the strawberry.
Thanks for reading.