Hello there Theadora; I would suggest just keep on being a best friend.  Ask her how things are at home, how she is feeling and take her lead from there.  You will soon learn how much she wants to talk about it.  Does she still live at home with her family (sorry, I don't know how old she is); she might like to come and stay with you for the occasional night, having a good heart-to-heart or whatever she fancies.  You can be proactive; if she is too worn out - lack of sleep maybe - you could get a bit of shopping for her, or do anything that may be just too much for her.  And if you know her family this can be extended to them also.   As you are probably realising, it can be more than just lending a sympathetic ear although that is very important too.  Really listen and ask questions.  You have to play it by ear sometimes.  And you need to commit to helping her - no idea of how her dad's illness will progress - so be prepared for whatever is needed.  Sorry if I make it sound like a slog; I know from experience that phone calls at odd hours can be tiring - but a good friend like yourself will understand that she is going through something you cannot begin to imagine.  You sound like a good friend and I feel you will do your best for her.  Do keep posting here if you want any advice or help; many of us have been through similar situations.  Bless your generous heart.  Annie

Hi Annieliz, 

Thank you so much for your reply! She does still live at home with her mum and dad ive offered her the option to stay at mine if she ever needs to and for as long as she would need to but i think at the moment she is in a conflictng situation. One half of her wants to leave the house for a few days to get away from everything that is going on but also doesnt want to spend the time away from dad! 

Im very close with her family theyve become my second family! I have offered to help them all in anyway i can! I just wish i could take away their pain. Honestly breaks my heart to see her like this!

Mum and dad both seem to be ok about the situation i managed to talk to them alone while my bestie was alseep. Dad is nervous but not really upset about the news and mum is sad but wants to make the most of the time they have left! 

Like you said i think all i can really do is give support and a helping hand whenever needed. 

Do you know if there are any good books about how to cope? She has always been a book worm, maybe a book about coping and/or other peoples experiences  might help? 

I am attaching a link to MacMillan Cancer Support's publications list.  There is a whole mixture of stuff there but it includes some general books about being diagnosed with  cancer and there is a filter so you can look for books specific to the cancer involved.

I meant to say that you needn't wait to be asked to help out; if you see something that needs doing just do it.  When my neighbour had terminal cancer I just did things that needed doing; it is that kind of feeling that you just want to feel you are helping even in just a small way sometimes.  I am not sure they even noticed some of these things in their distress but it made me happier!   Weed the garden, mow the lawn, clean the windows, whatever!   Annie

publications.macmillan.org.uk/

When I was in my early twenties, a very good friend found out her mom had cancer and was only given six months to live. Her illness did indeed progress very quickly, and my friend was her caregiver. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do, and at that age I was pretty selfish and I don't think that I even thought about what could be done to help. But my friend took the lead, and somehow I became her Tuesday night getaway for several months. She basically allowed herself to spend Tuesdays at my house (supper, and t.v or movies or whatever) and one weekend night at her boyfriends. 

Once a week is a pretty small bit of time, but it can really provide a necessary break for a care giver.