Hi yes we did chat about that .i read up on the transactional friend very interesting i had same conversation with liz over one of her.personaly i think they pray on kind people users is another word but they eventualy are found out and you must be a kind person as you have taken the trouble to contact me when you are going through your own personal grief . Its been good for me this site as i have i hope been able to try and give some people bits of advice or at least put there minds at rest which helps me to just as you have been doing to me.i must admit i did laugh when one of the ladys came on and said how her pet dog had given her more support than humans.but as to my sister yes i would still be there for her and have been for all my siblings in the past probably  better than they have me but bloods thicker than water . Glad you contacted me as its nice when people try and help because at these times the world can seem a very lonely place .so i thank you for thinking of me and hope to speak again.if you ever need to chat about anything plase contact me again crissie on here has been a great help as have some of the others who have been so kind .so best wishs and hope you are feeling a little bit better after your awfull loss . Regards paul

hi Paul im embroiled in my own pain some what,but decided read a post or 2 ,most i cannot think what to say so dont bother,id probably of done the same,as it is both my brothers have been very supportive.but id of lost it with them if they had just not bothered.hope you keep in touch with your siblings.in my case my partner Jayne was loving and caring about all her family.hence having had the wrath of Jaynes mother and knowing her brothers never liked me is going make it hard for me to try do what Jayne would of wanted and stay in contact with the nieces and nephews.plus the family didnt show Jayne much love at the funeral or the articles about it in the local paper,hence im thinking of just cutting ties with the lot of them.anyway i hope your ok with the decision you made and you are ok. Regards ian

Morning ian . Ime ok how it is with siblings ive got six some were ok some were rubbarb and always have been .if your brothers are oke get them to store some of your stuff i know your hurting .but i know i shouldnt say this but your going to have to harden up for a while jaynes mum holds all the cards at the moment so try not to offend them i had to bite my tongue for a while till it was sorted i cant realy help you anymore it i was ok i owned my home ect liz and i were together 24/7 but we kept our own homes so we had a town home and a country home so all ok on that front . Its a shame jayne jayne didnt leave a will but these things get put on the back burner liz have many othere health probs so did a will left me somthing it was nice but i didnt need it she was a p/a for university chanceler so she was very organised so see a solicitor and c.a.b .hope you get sorted its awfull as i said we care for our partners and make decisions while they are alive the minuit there gone we have no say at all its unfair but thats how it is .p 

thank you Paul,

some good advice,ive bit my tongue loads of times over the last month or 2,only time i made a comment about Jaynes mums acyios etc was to say the write up about the funeral was insulting saying how Jayne loved all nieces and nephews and said jayne had brought fun to the family i wasnt nasty but felt like giving her the kitchen sink and everything,but held back,its sickening knowing how much jayne and i loved each other to know this woman doesnt give a fig what jayne would of wanted.Jayne as tried leave me something,i had fill pension forms in,including an expression of wish form,but got call other day asking if id filled 1 of them in ,said id filled both in but sadly one as gone astray so had fill it in again.So its a waiting game as to whether i get anything or not who knows.and all i really need the money for is trying get jaynes ashes and hopefully have enough purchase a funeral plan for myself which hopefully ends up with being with jayne when i die.

Well you seem a bit more rational thats how it is we go a bit bonkers dont think lodgicaly theres not much more i can add now .just try and keep your feet on the ground plenty of time to grieve whitch you need to do but you have to put yourself first and the material things sorted .jaynes families being the way they are it will only compound there grief but they may change .so hope you get sorted keep up with that counciling and above all look after yourself ive just had cateract op today so not be on fot a while i think you have another post going so your not alone one day you may be here supporting otheres with your experiances regards paul

good luck with your recovery.1 point i forget mention i think,Jayne had a few good friends at work and one vg friend,the last text i ever recieved from Jayne mentioned a friend named Lina who would supposidly give me a bit of support,sadly she as not responded to my cries for help.my fault as i gave ann,jaynes mum her number,need i say more .ok ive just got sit and wait and hope something goes my way for a change.again thanks for your advice Paul it was very much appreciated.