They are still talking to my two uncles on my dad's side but they know about everything they have done Barr braking into my house. We can't even leave the house comfortably any more. It is rubbish but the police know everything. What should I do to take my mind off them. I do have a distraction for a month now with the world cup starting but after that what do I do?

Hi are you okay?

Hiya.  Yes I am okay (apart from injured my leg and foot whilst falling over the dog).  Not able to sit at the old PC as much.  If you are on good terms with your uncles perhaps you could talk to them, without having a pop at anybody, just a friendly chat about the general situation? 

I think you need the break you will get when you go on leave.  If you are worried about leaving the house can you do something to stop however they got in.  Would your uncles keep an eye on the  house?  Or any neighbours with whom you are on good terms?

Generally I would just ignore them.  Unless they do anything really bad again which might merit police action don't let them get to you.  I realise it is upsetting but just keep saying to yourself that nothing they do can change the loving relationship that existed between you and your dad.  You are still very much grieving so everything seems worse than usual.  Just keep remembering the love between your dad and yourself as much as possible. 

And I hope you are enjoying the World Cup.  Annie

Hope your leg and foot are okay.

My uncles have to good a relationship with them so I wouldn't want to ruin that. what do you mean by going on leave. My neighbors are keeping an eye on the place but I don't feel happy leaving the house unoccupied. Have you got any tips on how to take my mind off them for a while?

Thanks Annie hope your leg gets better soon! Please reply asap I love talking to you

Hello again.  I meant holiday, not leave.  I confess I was rather sleepy when I wrote the above last night. Don't worry, I will respond when I see your posts.  Regarding your problem relations, I have to be straightforward and say that I don't have any magic powers to make you forget them.  I am not a hypnotist for instance.  You are not going to forget them but need to learn to not let them bother you. You don't know where they are coming from - for instance whether they want to upset you - if so, don't give them the satisfaction.  Hopefully things will settle down again as time wears on - I don't know when your dad died but it takes time for people to get over things; be the bigger person.  They are not hurting your dad or your memories.  You personally are doing well so don't let them hurt you.  Annie

Okay thanks Annie, my dad passed away on the 19/03/2018. I am finding it really tough because today is father's Day.

I have to say you are a true inspiration to me you helped me to get over my tears, fears, worries and much much more. I cannot think of words to thank you. We will keep in touch a lot if that is okay with you

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Glad to be of use.  That is what this forum is here for.  March is not that long ago so don't expect too much of yourself.  In one sense you will always miss your dad - but you will also be able to smile and look back on things you did together.  I am a lot older than you but still think about things that my dad and I did together when I was a young child.  Life is always a bit of a mystery; why the people we love have to suffer and we in turn suffer when we lose them.  It can be difficult which is why I say try not to let others make you unhappy.  Things will settle down eventually - I think so anyway from what you have told me.  Just take each day as it comes and do what feels right for yourself.  Annie

Hi Annie I keep having these weird dreams in my sleep that my dad is here and when I wake up I start crying and I am under a lot of pressure because I am in pain 24/7 and my wrist is all bandaged up. I am also on a lot of painkillers. I am due to go for an operation on my wrist but the waiting list is 12 months long. I am really scared that I will get the same thing as my dad had. I really miss him, every time I leave the graveyard it feels like 3 weeks since I have been there but it is actually only 2-3 minutes since I have been. You are the only person I have told about this. My dad passed away nearly 4 months ago and I just really wish he was here. His Mother and sister have calmed down a little.

Please reply to me because I am really struggling

Hello.  It is not uncommon to have such dreams after you have lost someone dear to you.  Others on this forum have mentioned them and I also had them.  In fact I still dream about my parents sometimes, not very often these days - it is quite nice but as you say it is sad when you wake up.  Twelve months is a long time to wait if you are in pain.  Are there any other hospitals in your area where the waiting list might be a bit shorter?  I don't actually know how you go about finding out but your GP would know.

There is no reason to think that you would get the same problems as your dad; I can understand that losing somebody close makes us more aware of our own mortality but I think you should tell yourself that there is no reason to think this.

So pleased to hear that there is a bit of improvement on the thing that was bothering you a lot; his mum and his sister.  Try to build on this.  Although they have not shown you much consideration it is generally a good idea to keep relationships with family open even though they can drive us to distraction sometimes as you well know.  People are, well, people and probably some of the things we do are found irritating by others.  Having said that, it does appear that you have done nothing major that would made them behave in the way you have described.

How are you coping generally; at school for example.  Do you have good friends?  I am not just being nosey (well, may I am); I just would like to know that you are coping with everyday life.  Annie