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miss my mum so much this is so hard

tleed
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my mum died when i have just turned 18 and my little was sister 7 its coming up to be 4 years since she pasted 

everything is a mess now my dad met someone i want my dad to be happy but my mum wasent even dead a year wen he met her its broke my heart again and all my mum's side of my family hate my dad dont speak to him anymore and my sister and I hurt 

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    Hi there ... And welcome on our chat room ... Now l don't know you all and all I can do is relate to what you write .... This is just my thinking ...

    Just because your dad has moved on it doesn't mean he didn't love your mum .... He just may still miss her and be hurting too ... In life you only get one mum, but you can find another partner to share your life ..my partner lost his wife to breast cancer after 2 years of being her only carer ... He was suffering badly and he was sinking in grief ... Their daughter was 17 .... They were hardly talking , both grieving in different ways ... We just started chatting ... Just listened to him on those overwhelming feelings and how his daughter was suffering too ... Slowly l got them to listen to each other and bridge that gap ..

    I just felt like l was being a care taker .... I just think our life is like a book ... And moving on is starting a new chapter ... It doesn't take away that big part of the book that was his wife (your mum) 

    What was his life like with your mum ... If they had a good relationship then , it will stay in his heart even though he looks like he's moving on ... And if that's the case, he's not only lost someone he loves, he's lost his children too ... This is so sad ... Would it hurt to listen to him ... Ask him how he feels ... And open your heart to him having someone that can help him in this new chapter he finds himself in ...

    And like a book you can all revisit your mum's chapter in your mind, that never changes ... Chrissie x

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Hi.  Chrissie beat me to it but I was going to say that your dad must have had a very happy marriage with your mum to want to find another loving relationship.  People who were not happy in their marriage tend to be more wary about starting a new relationship.  I can understand the feelings of your mum's relations - they are still grieving for your mum and possibly feel that your dad should have continued grieving on his own too.  I hope his new girlfriend is a sympathetic person and understands that he will not get over his first love very quickly.  At this moment in time it will be a different type of relationship than that he had with your mum. Bereaved people are so lonely; I hope that feelings will change over time if the new lady is a nice one.  I also understand that you are still grieving too so it is not easy for you.  Annie

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